MasterChugs Theater: ‘Piranha 3D’
Posted on September 2, 2010
Filed Under MasterChugs Theater | Leave a Comment |
It’s not as scary as it needs to be or as clever as it thinks it is, but Piranha 3D (or just Piranha, though not to be too confused with the Joe Dante movie of the same name) is at least as gimmicky as those fabled 3D films of yore. With all the pointless 3D cartoons and joyless 3D Clash of the Titans conversions, at last here’s a picture that tosses its cookies, its coffee cups and its D-cups right in your lap.
And that’s okay. Read more
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorEven a toddler can quit smoking
Posted on September 2, 2010
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Ardi Rizal, the two-year-old Indonesian boy who won our hearts with his two pack-a-day habit, has quit smoking.
The toddler was sent with his mother to an intensive care specialist for one month. He received psychosocial therapy and was forced to play with less mature-looking peers.
Sure, he’s quit now, but let’s see how he does once he enters kindergarten and the real life stress begins.
Worst. Crime Spree. EVER.
Posted on September 2, 2010
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Four men from New York City have been arrested after going on a video game-stealing rampage along the entire East Coast of the United States. Laaaaaaaame.
Rodney McCreary, Gilberto Matos, Derrella Winfrey and Wilfredo Matos were caught by police when an off-duty cop saw them stuffing video games down their pants at a Toys ‘R Us in Annapolis. The officer followed them to their car, saw the four men leave and then called in some on-duty cops to make the bust. When police searched the men’s car, though, they found a lot more than just a few games from a single Toys ‘R Us.
Instead, they found 219 video games, along with road maps and a long list of Toys ‘R Us stores right down the aforementioned East Coast. Police are now investigating which stores on the maps had already been robbed and which hadn’t, while the four alleged perpetrators have been released on $50,000 bond.
Guys, how about next time, trying for something a little more valuable or worthwhile, okay? Or at least something that won’t make you somebody’s play thing in jail.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorImagine all the droppings
Posted on September 2, 2010
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
The world has been offended enough by The Beatles’ crap already, so why should you have to pay more for John Lennon’s crap … er … crapper?
Written by Bryan SchoolsThey have those buttons on planes?
Posted on September 2, 2010
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Flying can be a relaxing experience–provided you hit the airport bar hard enough ahead of time. Aside from that, you’re screwed. Things can always get worse, though.
For example, you can hear an automated message over the intercom informing you that you are about to crash. That’s what the the passengers on a British Airways flight from London to Hong Kong. They were actually doing just fine, the pilot hit the wrong switch. Whoops!
Written by Bryan McBournieTake it from Snee: Tits
Posted on September 1, 2010
Filed Under Take it from Snee | 1 Comment |
If you love boobs, then you’re gonna love this week’s TifS, because, brother, I’m delivering the goods.
And, by “goods,” I mean solid advice about the early detection and treatment of breast cancer.
What? What’s the matter? Why do you look so disappointed?
Was it the title of the column and 140 character first sentence synopsis that you found on Twitter? My gratuitous use of the words “tits” and “boobs” when I’m clearly talking about plain old breasts? Diseased breasts at that?
Then you now understand why I don’t care much for “Save the Tatas” or “I <3 Boobies” breast cancer awareness campaigns: they’re in poor taste. Read more
Written by Rick SneeFlowers: serious business.
Posted on September 1, 2010
Filed Under KAPLOOIE! | Leave a Comment |
Are you in love? Does he or she know? Well, whatever you do about it, for the love of God, don’t buy them flowers.
Flowers, or plant genitals, have long been part of human custom: weddings, birthdays, apologies and funerals. And funerals is just what posies have in mind when they spontaneously combust (i.e., terror explode) and cause $20,000 worth of damage to an Arkansas home.
The whole incident could have been avoided had the Duncans re-potted or even just watered their plant, but the United States does not negotiate with amaranths.
Written by Rick SneeLOL, D3FENCE RESTS
Posted on September 1, 2010
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Facebook and the legal system: they’re like oil and water, as the two combined just don’t mix. I know that. You know that. That hobo sitting with a jar full of bum wine knows that.
So why didn’t anyone tell Hadley Jons that?
Jons, a Michigan juror for a resisting arrest trial, decided that her mind was made up regarding the verdict. Unfortunately, the prosecution hadn’t quite finished its case yet. Double unfortunately, she decided to let her Facebook friends (and thereby, everyone on the internet) know exactly what her verdict was. That’s not what we call a smart decision.
The defense attorney subsequently let the judge know about this once the information was revealed. Jons was removed from the case and could potentially face some time in a jail cell (if the defense attorney has anything to say about it). While it’s probably increasingly difficult in this day and age to find an unbiased jury due to how plugged in everyone is, you’re kind of supposed to take the whole justice thing a bit seriously in the first place.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorMillion-dollar head and shoulders
Posted on September 1, 2010
Filed Under Regular Post | 1 Comment |
Football players are tough: they hit you in the mouth, they are supposed to be the most tenacious athletes on the planet, they are so tough–in fact–that they can insure their hair … for $1 million dollars.
Written by Bryan SchoolsThey’ll find a way to blame Lincoln for this
Posted on September 1, 2010
Filed Under KAPLOOIE! | Leave a Comment |
Even though it’s been 145 years gone, for the South some people, the Civil War isn’t over. It’s not over in Georgia not because people still aren’t willing to move past a cotton-based economy, it is the ammunition that keeps it alive.
Some cannonballs from the Civil War caused an entire building at Kennesaw State University to be shut down because they were a possible threat to anyone around them. The cannonballs had been sitting there for three years, and no one thought they might explode, until someone new spoke up.
However, it was determined that the irons and chains that slaves were transported were not a threat to public health not only because they were not explosive, but because there weren’t any in the Civil War exhibit.
Written by Bryan McBournie keep looking »