Day: July 27, 2006

Lance Bass’s announcement has raised an important question in everyone’s lives: is my crush gay, lesbian or bisexual? This information is critical for every 12-year-old in the nation, as evidenced by the barrage of Lance Bass articles over the past two days.

As a service to you–our dear, lonely readers–here’s a list of gay, lesbian and bisexual celebrities. It was compiled by Wikipedia: the internet’s official source for settling all arguements not covered on IMDB.com.

Let the sobbing begin:

Celebrities A-E
Celebrities F-J
Celebrities K-O: This one’s a heartbreaker for me. Rosie O’Donnell, we hardly knew ye.
Celebrities P-T
Celebrities U-Z

Couldn’t find your crush on the lists? Perhaps they’re on the wagon:

Temporarily, but no longer, gay for media attention

If you are a gay, lesbian or bisexual reader looking for a new crush, then read the above with the opposite emotional responses.

SeriouslyGuys: Don’t say we never did anything for you.

The Girls Gone Wild tour bus will let nothing stand in its way on the road to topless paradise. Not even the occasional bicyclist who gets trapped under the wheels.

In the end, it was apparently all for nothing.

Don’t be down, Fu Xiancai. After all, think of the memories that you’ll be able to say … over and over and over and over. Literally.

(Courtesy of Mike Morrow)

I’m pretty sure that a 110-pound dog falling on me from 20 feet up would do more than just scare the crap out of me. They apparently grow their boys big in Warsaw, I assume.

(Courtesy of Mike Morrow)

It was the news that gave a reach-around to the entire world. Lance Lance came out of the closet. Protests took to the streets, governments shut down and descended into chaos, bets were won.

Now, one brave Washington Post staff writer has the courage to discuss her realization that she will never be with Lance Bass.

Let’s face it, that’s the important, quality journalism the Post is known for.

According to CNN’s analysis of U.S. Census data, Wisconsin is the best example of all of the states in the U.S.

So that means we are all Wisconsiners, Wisconsinites, Wisconsonians or whatever they call themselves out there.

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone would finally block out the sun? Think of the lives saved, tan nazis.

The nancies at the World Health Organization (or the WHO) recommend anyone with fair skin apply sunscreen whenever sun exposure is “unavoidable,” but otherwise stay indoors until nightfall.

It’s from the Middle East, it’s chewable and it’s illegal. It’s khat (rhymes with “shot”). Strangely enough, it seems the drug is widely unknown in the U.S., but is treated as any other illegal drug, in most of the rest of the world, it’s mostly accepted.

There’s nothing particularly amusing about this, other than the fact that it seems to be popular with cab drivers. The good news there is that when you mispronounce their name they’ll be too stoned to correct you.

It must feel pretty darn good when the next guy to win your race can only do so with performance enhancing drugs. It must feel even better when he needed testosterone and you only have one testicle.

This blog is brought to you by testosterone: is it in you?

They’ve got nothing on the ruthless gangs of Rio de Janeiro. Now that they are being broken up, the world is a safer place.