Day: August 18, 2006

If this week’s stories are any indication, they’ve got more creativity. Fun fact, kids! You can soak clothing in heroin to transport it places!

Side note: This blog enjoys seeing the phrase “tainted underwear” in the news.

A monster has been lurking in Maine for the past 15 years. Recently, it has killed dogs and has been blamed for eerie howls at night.

The strange animal was hit by a car last week as it was chasing a cat.

Stephen King should have some knew material now. Teen Wolf could not be reached for comment.

Bodega Chocolates in California believes they have found the Virgin Mary in the form of chocolate drippings.

Strange coincidence, I saw Jesus in my Snickers bar just last week.

Are we paying attention, Ms. Spears? Do you see what can happen now?

That’s right: you could look even more like a dumbass.

When this blog asked the toddler why he drank and drive, he issued this statement.

The Big AIDS Expo (everyone must go!) has made three recommendations for Africans:
1) Get out of Africa.
2) Circumcisions.
3) No, seriously. Don’t (aka: do not) live in Africa.

SeriouslyGuys overheard these comments from health officials afterwards:

HO: [snickering] Oh, man! I can’t believe he actually did it!

HO: Up high! [high-fivered]

Hot this summer in Hollywood is drunk driving. In July, 18-year old Haley Joel Osment suffered a broken rib after he crashed his car into a mailbox. He now faces charges of driving under the influence of alcohol and possession of marijuana. Osment’s blood alcohol content was twice the legal limit for an underage driver.

Looks like he can see dead people, but has difficulty seeing mailboxes.

(Spoiler: Bruce Willis is really a ghost.)