Are you tired of slaving all day at your job, working for a boss who doesn’t appreciate you while your coworkers all thing you’re a jerk? Do you think you are underpaid and believe there’s something better out there for you?
Then quit your job and become a bartender.
This helpful career pointer brought to you by SeriouslyGuys.
Want to lose over 40 pounds in a few weeks?
It’s time once again for What Would You Choose? The game where SG puts you in the action.
You’re an assistant coach of a youth football team in California, you see one of your players on the receiving end of a late hit. What do you do?
A) Petition the referee for some sort of penalization to the other team for their obvious infraction.
B) Throw a chair or two to display your feelings toward the call, keeping in mind you don’t want to over-do it, as it is a youth game.
C) One late hit deserves another right? Rush the field and clock the player who hit your player, starting a 20-minute brawl between parents and coaches and results in your arrest.
The answer is C. Who cares about charges? The first charge should have been a loss of yards for that late hit!
This blog is hesitant to throw around its sweeping political influence, especially this early. However, Janet Jackson announced that she supports Hillary Clinton for President of these here United States of America.
The Jacksons, who have no political aspirations because they couldn’t get elected without killing Little Michael, have always been our moral compas.
We frowned on numbers and letters (tools of the devil!) until 1970, when the Jackson 5 released “ABC.” Now look at us!
We refused to masturbate (activity of the devil!) until Little Michael (all grownsed-up) released his 1983 hit, “Beat It.” “Beat It” also taught us that Eddie Van Halen is not mortal.
That same year, we finally embraced zombies when we saw the video for “Thriller.” Now we dance with zombies and bite our girlfriends.
We finally embraced other races and ethnicities in 1991 when Michael took one for the team and became a white girl. Speaking of which, isn’t it a little curious that the Jackson 5 disappeared?
We finally conceded that breasts are okay in 2004 when Janet Jackson bared one to Super Bowl viewers in an attempt to feed Justin Timberlake. Well, the Go-Daddy.com girl helped (who will soon host www.seriouslyguys.com!).
And now, here we are in 2006. If the Jacksons support Hillary, then so do The Guys. Seriously.
I remember when I first heard about Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. It had to have been sometime in the mid-1990s. A friend said to me, “You’ve got to check out this crazy Australian guy. …”
My friend tried to explain to me why I needed to and why “this guy” was so crazy, but he didn’t do a very good job of it. But sure enough, I got around to watching that new show Crocodile Hunter and I saw what they were talking about, even though the guy wasn’t actually hunting crocodiles, just socializing with them.
Irwin loved animals so much he went nutso around them and damn near got himself eaten every time he held one up for the camera. What’s not to love about a show like that?
I must admit that I did not watch his shows as often after the first year or so. One can only watch crazy so many times and be let down by the end. I never even got to see his movie, which came out in 2002. I was probably one of the few who thought it looked good–stupid, but good.
I first heard the news of Iwrin’s death in the oddest of places: the inside of an elevator of a parking garage. As the door closed to the elevator in Silver Spring, MD (coincidentally, the home of Discovery Channel’s headquarters), I saw someone had scribbled “RIP Steve Irwin.” I figured it was a joke of some sort until I found out later it was not.
Crikey.
Getting stung in the heart by a stingray is no way to go. Getting trampled by a herd of buffalo, or eaten by a much-beloved crocodile–that’s the way to go.
So on behalf of SeriouslyGuys, I say, good on ya, mate.
Why couldn’t it have been Jeff Corwin?
