Day: September 28, 2006

Who really believes scientists, anyway?

The fight back against our animal enemies has spread to Oakland, Calif. and has taken a weird turn as well.

Residents of East Oakland found a dead, 400-pound llama abandoned in their neighborhood. The animal was covered with a tarp. Authorities are baffled as to where the animal came from, how it died or why it was abandoned in Oakland.

Though llamas are considered less of a threat than stingrays or chickens, they are still guilty of harboring ill will toward humans. And for that, they must be punished.

You read your own obituary in the newspaper. What makes it even worse is that someone with the same name has claimed for decades his greatest accomplishment that was actually yours.

Then again, you do have the satisfaction of dancing on said impostor’s grave.

This is what happened to the writer of the “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” song. Naturally, this has gotten a lot of attention from friends and family.

Key quote: “‘This is not a game. I am who I am and I’m proud of who I am. But these phones don’t stop with people calling thinking I’m dead.’“

A team of French doctors recently performed the first zero-gravity surgery. The surgeons removed a cyst from a man’s arm as the plane they were on went in and out of zero-gravity.

Great, there’s an important scientific achievement.