Month: September 2006

First we had news of Keith Richards acting as a drunk pirate.

Then we had news of Chevy Chase performing as a drunk Mel Gibson clone.

Now we have Paris Hilton as a drunk driver.

Oh wait … you mean she’s not acting?

They are just like us, they have the same interests as us and yet they lead by example. They are our ideal and they would never take advantage of our money.

Then again, if you want to find a vice cop in Hillsborough County, Florida, you may not want to check the donut shops anymore.

Here’s something to look forward to this fall: Chevy Chase appearing on Law & Order as a Gibson-esque drunken celebrity who gets pulled over and goes on an anti-semetic rant.

It’s official. These guys have been on the air so long they ran out of ideas.

-Just like The Rolling Stones, it seems that one man still may not get his satis-fact-iooooon. (Possibly may be NSFW due to technical language)

–Breaking news in Bangkok somehow involves new and wacky forms of Ukranian bed-dancing. No jokes to be made here people.

–Superman of the silver age of comics wasn’t exactly a nice guy.

Keith Richards seems to have located where the rum went to recently on the set of the third installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

According to FOXNews, Richards, who makes a cameo in the movie as Capt. Jack Sparrow’s father, was left alone to prepare for his big scene. We all know what that means. Richards came out of his trailer, clearly inebriated and finding it hard to maintain balance.

In order to keep him upright during the filming, director Gore Verbinski had to hold Richards by the skins.

Key quote: “‘You’ve got to keep straight,’ Verbinski told him.

‘If you’d wanted straight, then you got the wrong man,’ Richards replied huskily.“

Do you want to re-live the 80s but don’t have enough money for the drugs? Is Red Bull just not giving you the energy you need? Try Cocaine!

No, not that cocaine. Cocaine–the legal drink. It claims to be 350 percent stronger than Red Bull and other energy drinks, and the effects last for five hours.

Side effects may include: Nose bleeds, chewing of inner lip, memory loss, weight loss and friendship with Kate Moss. If any of these symptoms last for three days or more, call your doctor.

The schoolteacher still doesn’t know what “art” really is. The school trustees do hope that the new one will.

Forsooth! Yon Madden jinx strikes again!

In other news (not really), Mike Holmgren continues to enjoy eating babies with soy sauce drizzled over them. But not Fembots from Austin Powers movies.

According to BBC News, Jack Neal has an unusual taste in cars. Recently, he bought a pink Nissan Figaro on eBay. His mother was not pleased.

You see, Neal is three years old.

As some of you may already know, after our coverage yesterday of the threat chickens pose against the human race, BirdFluBreakingNews.com added us to their list of “The most Informative, interesting & controversial, Avian Flu, H5N1 Blogs.”

That’s right, SeriouslyGuys is now also your source for the latest for informative, interesting and controversial information on the world’s impending doom–also referred to as bird flu.

Carry on, BirdFluBreakingNews.com, see you when the birds rise up against us. This blog will be the one with a shotgun in one hand and a flask in the other.

Also in the SG mailbag this week is a little note of thanks from the U.S. Pirate Party (PPUS) for mentioning them. Nbx909, of PPUS writes:

“Dear Seriously Guys,

Thank you for your interest in the Pirate Party of the United States and sorry for the delayed reply. I would like to inform you that there is going to be a big public meeting to discuss objectives, budget, positions, and etc of the US pirate party on Tuesday 26th at 6 CDT(7EDT, 23:00 zulu (UTC)) via IRC at irc.echel0n.net channel #USPirateParty or via an applet at
http://pirate-party.us/irc/index.html.

The PPUS Info team“

Please, nbx909, you are far too gracious.