Day: October 2, 2006

I bet that if his computer chip had less “Trauma Center” and more “Road Rash” in it, it might be a different story.

If sold on the open market, think of the purposes of the personalization function for the detector:

-a way to placate people high on the “wacky tobaccky”

-a way to drive conspiracy theorists crazy

-a way to drive religious nuts crazy

-there’s even a way for Russia to keep its soldiers in line in their bunks

My suggestion for keeping you alive by using it? Switch the voice to Lewis Black.

Slowly but surely, the United States Congress is turning into the characteristics for a chocolate cream pie.

The world chess championship has drawn controversy over a possible scandal involving too many bathroom breaks. The Russian guy was reported to have taken over 50 bathroom breaks during the championship.

That will teach him to eat at that Mexican restaurtant in the shady side of town.

In an ever-emasculating world, it seems guys are getting into womanly activities as well. According to researchers at Stanford University Medical Center, guys are just as likely to be spendaholics (dependent on the chemical “spendahol”) as women are.

The main difference: Guys can go out and buy a bunch of random things, but they don’t need to blow the whole afternoon doing it.

Now who wants to drink cosmos and talk about their feelings with me?