In Singapore, tapping into someone else’s internet connection gets you up to three years of prison. In the United States of America, it gets you commendations of L33T SKILLZ D00DZ!!1111
Clearly, our country’s justice system uses MAD HAXXORZ.
Day: November 13, 2006
Can’t play the guitar?
Just play your shirt instead. I seriously have nothing but glee for stupid fun and public shenanigans that this might create.
Of course, I’m a huge Guitar Hero fan, so stupid fun and shenanigans are nothing new to me.
Cruel and unusual punishment
A prison in Buffalo, Montana has a totally new look since inmates tried to break out of it last month. Let’s hope they like pink walls.
Key quote: “And it’s a calming thing; Teddy bears are soothing. So we made it like a day care, and that’s kind of like what it is, a day care for adults who can’t control their behavior in public.”
Creating panda jerks, one jerk at a time
Leave it to Thailand to show panda porn to panda bears in order to create offspring.
Way to go Thailand, you’re making nothing but a nation of panda jerks!
The McBournie Minute: Celebrity divorces
In Hollywood, adopting African children is out and divorcing your loser husband is in. Reese Witherspoon, Whitney Houston and now Britney Spears have all filed for divorce from their husbands.
Really, who cares?
It doesn’t matter, does it? Nothing in the world changes with that news coming out. Yet the country is obsessed with it. America is obsessed with celebrities the way high schoolers are obsessed with the popular kids. Remember them? They could say anything and it was funny, they knew all the other cool people and chances were none of them gave a bowel movement about you. Yet the school was always abuzz with what the popular kids were doing or saying.
The same is true today. American society is an extension of high school. We read about the cool kids in the tabloids and see them talk about why they are cool on the news. They often misbehave, but their status gets them off the hook every time.
One must wonder, if celebrities are the popular kids, what does that make the rest of us? I’ll see you in the cafeteria, save me a seat.