The New York Post highlighted recent passages out of Rosie O’Donnell’s blog. Even celebrities fill google’s search results with angsty, all-lowercase poetry.
What makes the poetry even better? It looks like it was written on a cell phone:
i imagine it is interesting
as celeb feuds tend 2 b
so here r my thoughts
Ros-eeemoooooooooooo.
While we wax nostalgic about our past year, Gerald Ford waxed some of his own.
Highlights include:
Kissinger was a sissy (“he had the thinnest skin of any public figure I ever knew”).
The Iraq war is stupid. (“I just don’t think we should go hellfire damnation around the globe freeing people, unless it is directly related to our own national security.”)
And Cheney is a little, wrinkled dog (“I think Cheney has become much more pugnacious”).
We should all get a chance to say whatever we want and publish it after we die. When I get terminal cancer, Maury Povich had better watch out.
We had been around a month and started to figure out what we wanted to do overall. Either that or it was the booze talking. In any case, we had some good stuff.
Old, old, wooden ships and you–Chugs Taylors’ rant about his job. Yes, we actually do have real jobs.
There was other stuff worth mentioning, like “Da Vinci Code” judges putting codes in their rulings, a stance on the South Park Muhammed controversy and a male contraceptive.
Since today is our last day of posting for 2006, our inaugural year, we will be, in addition to our normal posts, be posting the best of every month. Of course, the older the posts, the fewer the links that actually work. Then the jokes don’t make any sense.
So for March, we’ve got one best of. It’s our very first post: The 9,000 year-old question.
You know what they say, from humble beginnings ….
Is that a bird in your pocket, or are you just happy to get a $1,000 fine? If you’re trying to cross into the U.S. from Canada, don’t try smuggling birds.
On a related note: “Bird smuggling” is one of the greatest euphemisms seen in the media lately.
If you really like the food, we totally recommend giving some extra walnuts with the tip as well.
The owner of an adult clothing store is caught using a video camera to watch customers in the dressing rooms. No, this isn’t a scene out of a bad ’80s movie; this actually happened.
This week’s dead celebrities are Gerald Ford, James Brown and the Xbox 360.
In other news: dead man walkin’! Dead man walkin’ here!
You may not want to try to get them out of uniform. You don’t know where that kilt has been.
This, since we have such a strong following in Scotland, is a public service message.
Happy holidays, everyone!
