Nearly 142 years after the end of the Civil War and the freeing of the slaves, Virginia has finally apologized for slavery. The state general assembly voted on the measure unanimously. Next up on their agenda: their stance on the presidency of Andrew Johnson.
Happy Black History Month, everyone!
Sure, setting a squat thrust record isn’t that huge of a story. Heck, Pat Robertson can do massive leg presses. So when Ashrita Furman decided to go for the record, he decided he needed that extra something to make his story sexy.
He decided to do the squat thrusts on top of an elephant, which is probably illegal in 49 states.
Key quote: “‘I’ve had this dream of doing a record on the back of an elephant for many, many years,’ Ashrita Furman said on Thursday.”
If a person keeps their ear to the floor, they can eventually hear what all of America is thinking, including the “I probably shouldn’t(s)” that are thought as well. Of course, if the ear is kept to a railroad track, a person can also hear a train coming. Some better than others.
-Antonella Barba: “Maybe I shouldn’t have made those racy photos seeing as how my dream is to have my face plastered all over billboards and cd covers, and not websites.”
-Antarctic scientists: “Aw crap. We found more creatures. We’re all dead.”
Hey, it pays to be optimistic.
Sex workers in India would like to be known as “entertainment workers.” That’s fine and dandy, but only if SeriouslyGuys can call ourselves “good bloggers” as well. Or “dinosaur authors.” Oh, I really like the sound of that last one.
Has anyone else noticed the latest Guinness commercials on television lately? They end with something like “Please enjoy Guinness Draught responsibly during the St. Patrick’s holiday season.”
There is a season for St. Patrick’s Day? Far be it from me to be against any holiday that celebrates all-day drinking (everyday is St. Patrick’s Day for me), but does it really need its own season? This is a growing trend for holidays. They think they can just take over our year.
Remember when the Christmas season started in December? Now it starts the day after Halloween. We need to show these holidays that they are assigned on day per year for a reason. They are getting cocky and keep trying to push us around.
Reminder: Thursday is the first day of the April Fools season, so be ready.
