Day: June 4, 2007

Monster no more

This blog isn’t sure if it’s good news or bad news, but the “Monster Pig” bigger than “Hogzilla” was actually a pet named “Fred.”

While it is indeed good news that a monster of that size can only be found if domesticated, this blog is hurt that the 11-year-old boy would lie to us and the rest of the world by saying he hunted the wild beast. That is why we are stripping him of his title of “Kid Soldier of the Day.”

Which just goes to show you, you can’t trust people from Alabama. (We’re looking at you, Rick Snee!)

FYI

You might just want to put down that Chinese toothpaste, buddy–it could kill you.

Also, I don’t know about you, but that’s probably the most surreal sentence that I’ve ever wrote in my life.

Joke time

How long does it take this guy to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you asked him to do so in late 1988, then it’d take some time.

Key quote: “A railway worker who emerged from a 19-year coma woke to a radically altered Poland and thinks ‘the world is prettier now’ than it was under communism.”

Wait until he realizes that MTV is essentially no longer that, Star Search’s crappier cousin American Idol is the talk of the town, and everyone has to know what a talentless individual named Paris Hilton is doing. I wonder if Yahoo! can get a camera over there to take pictures of his head exploding?

Kidz Korner: Downloads

Hey, kids! Welcome to another edition of our Kidz Korner! It’s kah-raa-azay!

If we could get a little serious though, there’s something the guys want to talk to you about: dangerous online content. You see, there are some things out there on the Internet that you might be curious about, but are too embarrassed to ask a parent about.

Things like hip-hop, drums and bass, trance, acid jazz, and polka are difficult topics to broach with adults who are uncool. Fortunately, we are cool, so here’s the straight skinny, yo!

Downloading music is dangerous. You are very likely to contract a virus and be grounded up to three, maybe four, weeks. The worst part is that you might download the music and realize you don’t like Gloria Gaynor anyway. What a whack, right?

Do like the LA Times suggests and stick with porn. It’s cleaner than that dirty old music and will keep you entertained far longer than the bands you like now.

See ya next time, kidz!

The McBournie Minute: Tom

MySpace has been around for quite a while, so much so that it is become a major method for communication in society. We use it to show our friends how popular we are and we use it as our own personal PR department. SG even has a profile.

But there is a looming mystery about MySpace: who is Tom? You know, that guy everyone is friends with when they first sign up. As MySpace users, we feel the need to believe that Tom exists. We believe he is there for us when we need help and he listens to us when we send him a message to his profile.

Is there really a Tom? Perhaps we all just use Tom as a crutch, believing in him only when we need something. Many MySpace users choose to turn away from Tom and delete him as a friend on their profiles.

In the end, it really comes down to whether or not we want to believe in Tom. Some of us feel the need to talk to Tom everyday, and others feel content to live their lives without the glory of Tom. But one thing remains clear: what kind of a single 31-year-old guy lists Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives and American Idol as some of his favorite television shows?