Frankly, there’s probably no way for any of us to note this story without sounding like a chauvinist pig … so I’ll just say that women should exercise their rights more often.
Day: June 18, 2007
The McBournie Minute: Flying
Attention, everyone in the concourse, The McBournie Minute has been delayed due to maintenance issues. We regret the inconvenience.
It’s late today because of an adventure I was on recently, brought to you by airlines. That’s why today I’m saluting the airline industry. I know it’s cliche to make fun of airlines at this point, but this is more than that. This is a tale of unspeakable horror.
This weekend I was in Savannah, Georgia. Why? None of your beeswax, buddy. The flight down had some issues and I missed a connecting flight, so I figured the ride back would be clear. I was pretty sure this was true for a few moments after my first flight landed in Charlotte, North Carolina, where I was to transfer and fly to Washington-Dulles. Then I looked at the departures list and saw my flight was canceled for no reason.
I was treated to about an hour waiting in the customer service line and a frantic call to the customer service hotline. I won’t identify the airline, but let’s just say it claims the airways over America as its home. I got a standby on the last flight to Dulles that night, but didn’t get on. So I was treated to a hotel room.
A shuttle picked myself and others stranded like me and took us to the hotel with the forboding name of Microtel. During the ride, a hippy-dippy couple in their mid-30s mentioned they had been held up because of Customs. It turned out they had some marijuana in one of their bags and was holding them in North Carolina until they would be charged. And one other thing: they were coming back from their honeymoon. Oh, those crazy lovebirds!
Microtel lived up to its name. I had a spacious 10-foot by 10-foot room, complete with a running toilet, conveniently located right next to the lobby. It was a long night.
I caught the first flight back the next morning, unfortunately my luggage didn’t. It decided to come in in the early afternoon. Which left me just enough time to get back to my car and hit the afternoon D.C. traffic. It’s been quite a trip back.
There’s a virus going around high schools … and you don’t want it
In more school related news, teenage vandals have become smarter. Or maybe people have gotten stupider. Why, back in our day, The Guys would have never broken into our high school and put porn on our teacher’s computers. And before it’s said, yes, computers had been invented by the time we were in high school. The internet is another thing though. Also, we probably would have just put porn on the teacher’s desk … y’know, and gotten him or her fired instead.
W.W.M.B.D?
What would Marion Barry do in a situation like this? Oh, I think we know what he would do.
A woman says she was hired by “political enemies” to seduce the mayor of Jackson, Tennessee, and get it all on film. Who says local politics isn’t exciting? Well, at least the Mayor’s a looker.
Somebody needs a hug
How do you know when adults are out-of-touch?
“You get into shades of gray,” [Kilmer Middle School Principal Deborah] Hernandez said. “The kids say, ‘If he can high-five, then I can do this.'”
We’re guessing that “this” can mean anything from hug to shiv.
Even the reporter, Maria Glod, has no clue as evidenced by the following excerpts:
Some students — and these are friends — play “bloody knuckles,” which involves slamming their knuckles together as hard as they can.
Students won’t get busted if they high-five in class after answering a difficult math problem.
We’ll keep it up as long as they do
Every time this happens, porno gains a smidge more credibility. In this case, the student was her 13-year-old daughter’s middle school boyfriend.
At this point, there are so many of these stories that we wonder if they’re real or the newsroom equivalent of The Aristocrats.