Day: June 19, 2007

What we really, really don’t want

Listen everyone, this blog doesn’t know what the world has been doing so flagrantly wrong lately, but it’s time to be on your best behavior. We do not deserve the punishment of a Spice Girls reunion.

That’s right, the Spice Girls, who have not been hot in roughly five years (if ever, in some cases) are talking about getting back together and going on tour. This blog believes life in general is spicy enough, thank you very much.

The healing power of the body

Getting naked and hugging trees is a swell idea for an environmental protest, but watch out for the bark. That stuff itches! Just in case though, make sure that the tree being saved will not be turned into semi-comfortable chairs that you’ll sit in around the tree in protest.

Also, what better way to heal a headache than nude dancing? A female bomoh (or shaman) in Malaysia is causing a bit of a stir with her unusual “healing methods.” As long as she’s raising anything but the dead, this blog has no problem with this witch doctor.

Do it for the kids

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney does not approve a book that is required reading for the kids of his state. Given that he’s actually made a fortune selling hardcore pornography to bored business travelers, would he prefer that the children read the script to Maximum Ram instead? Is there really any surprise that he’s not a governor anymore?

Still, don’t be let down by feelings of altruism no longer being given to the children. You wanna know who is doing it all for the kids? Adult entertainers. Now that’s classy. The girls from a Utah escort service were actually thinking about the children when they threw a bikini car wash over the weekend. I don’t even really need to mention that being wet and soapy is a good cause all by itself … but I will. Because I just did.

Snakes on a Plate

Philadelphia is quickly gaining a reputation for fine dining. More than that, they are more than just talented chefs, they are innovators. Nowhere is that more evident than when a man found a snake head on his dinner plate in the green beans.

According to the story, the man made the dinner himself, along with chicken and noodles. After he cooked the canned noodles he didn’t notice the snake head until it was on his plate.

Intelligent quote: “‘When I sat down, I noticed something didn’t look right,’ Hartman told WCAU-TV. “It didn’t look like a green bean.'”