A quick warning to all: Duck Soup is the funniest movie ever made. There. I said it. Now, onto the rest of the review.
Day: June 22, 2007
Attention, peoples of Earth:
Not everything is about you.
Out of concern for other terms possibly denigrating others, this blog suggests the following nomenclature changes:
1) The “Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker” must now be called the “Goldenrod-Bellied Sap Consumer.” We’re sorry nobody addressed this sooner, Asians and homosexuals.
2) “Black boxes” on airliners must now be called “dark, fireproof recording device enclosures.” This will alleviate the feelings of African-Americans and women.
3) Communists will resume being called “Commies,” but not “Reds” or “Pinkos.” It was insentive to imply Native Americans, homosexuals and Grease characters embrace the ideology of Marxism and/or Leninism.
4) “Earl Grey tea” will now be called “Earl Ashen tea” out of respect to visiting extraterrestrials who might be insulted that we consume a beverage obviously named after them.
Fighting fire higher
The country’s firefighters face danger at a moment’s notice, that’s why they’re called the bravest. But in Edinburg, Texas, some firefighters were exposed to unspeakable danger while battling one blaze.
They fought fire at a warehouse, which they found out later stored marijuana. Let’s just say the firefighters were really hungry after they put the fire out. Strange as it may sound, they did this on “Rescue Me” last season.
Stew time at the airport
This blog knows it has heavily covered War on Animals this week. We blame it on their summer campaign. Everyone knows animals are more active during the summer.
Their latest attack was closing down an airport in Milan for a few hours on Sunday. Hares have been blocking planes landing and taking off by running around the airport, including the runways. So airport workers mounted a “daylight raid” against them.
Key quote: “Wild hares at Milan’s Linate airport seem to have only one thing on their mind, and their excessive mating and growing numbers have blocked takeoffs, landings and radar systems.”
You see? It’s the only thing they have on their minds. They just keep breeding so they will have more drones to wreak havoc on the airport.