Take it from Snee: Protest effectively or kindly go home
Posted on June 27, 2007
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Environmental protestors struck a blow for clean air by asking others to drive their cars on “Honk If You Hate Smog Day.”
Internet radio stations struck a heavy blow to the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) by broadcasting dead “air” (dead bandwidth, really). The stations are protesting a royalties hike that could effectively drive most Web stations out of business.
In other words, they gave the RIAA a preview of exactly what they want: Internet radio should either pay up or go away–not mad, just away.
This reminds me of a similar protest in the 1970s when women across the nation refused to collect paychecks to protest their income disparity with male coworkers. Instead, they stayed home and baked pies … scorn pies.
In the 1960s, African-Americans also drank from “blacks only” water fountains for a day to protest Jim Crow laws. That same decade also witnessed National Armed Forces Enlistment Day when all of the hippies signed up for infantry duty in Vietnam.
Long before that, teetotalers gave out free whiskey for a day in the 1920s, encouraging Irish and German immigrants to vote for candidates supporting Prohibition. They followed up with a similar event in the 1930s to prevent the repeal of the 18th Amendment.
Even Martin Luther used the same tactic when he encouraged Protestants everywhere to hold masses in Latin a day after posting his infamous theses.
So, of course, National Day of Silence is a good idea. Although, they ripped the name off from gay and lesbian equal rights organizations.
Written by Rick SneeIf the jail house is rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’
Posted on June 27, 2007
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What’s the weirdest part of this story? That male and female inmates are housed side-by-side, that they were able cut a hole in their cell walls so they could “join” each other, or that prisoners apparently have unlimited access to pancake batter? That last bit doesn’t make it as kinky as it should be, either, but nonetheless, I’m going with it as the weirdest part for one reason: I’m a man that loves his pancakes.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorWhy do men speed?
Posted on June 27, 2007
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Cuz people hate wasting time driving.
Because fast cars are awesome.
Because they have a small penis. BWAH?
SG would just like to say that we don’t exactly agree with this advertising campaign–I mean, it’s not like we drive Corvettes.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorOh my god, they’re back again
Posted on June 27, 2007
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Sorry to make the first post of the day such a downer, this is quite possibly the worst news fathomable: The Backstreet Boys have reformed. Worse yet, they plan to release a new album out this fall.
Key quote: “The Boy’s [sic] last song Never Gone reached number three in the U.S. album charts in 2005.”
Really? They had a hit song in 2005? Where were The Guys when that happened? Wait, don’t answer that. This blog does not mind a bit that we missed that pearl.
Written by Bryan McBournieA new kind of chum
Posted on June 26, 2007
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While most people think they have bad days when they miss a train or don’t get the promotion they hoped for, it does get worse. This is a lesson one man in Washington state learned the very, very hard way.
He was fishing in a river when his boat hit a downed tree. His fingers got caught and the boat started to sink. In a brazen move to stay alive, the fisherman cut off the tips of two of his fingers with a pocket knife to avoid death.
Then help arrived a few minutes later.
Written by Bryan McBournieKidz Korner: Guns and problem-solving
Posted on June 26, 2007
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Hey, kids! We’re sure you’ve had this argument before:
Billy: I’m older!
Jimmy: No, I’m older!
Billy: I’m older because I’m 8 and you’re 7.
Jimmy: Well … I’ll be 8 on my birthday!
Billy: I’ll already be 8, and then I’ll be 9 on my birthday, dummyhead.
Doesn’t it hurt when you’re called a dummyhead? Don’t you wish you could show Billy who’s the dummyhead, make all the pain go away and be older than him on your next birthday?
Your wish has been granted, thanks to guns!
Now your parents and teachers may say guns are dangerous, but who are they kidding? Adults have settled disputes with guns since the days of the early Egyptians! (Bryan, can you check the date on the first working gun?)
Why, if it weren’t for guns, you’d be speaking English right now because we never would have killed the king in 1776! Extreme, right?!
So how can guns be dangerous when they solve all of your problems? Of course they can’t. Fortunately, now you know better.
Written by Rick SneeThe perfect shark
Posted on June 26, 2007
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Sharks are obviously a big threat to us in the War on Animals. They lurk beneath the waves, they attack beachgoers at random more off America’s shores than anywhere else and they have their own theme music.
But now it seems they are crossbreeding, possibly to form the perfect killing machine. A dead pregnant blacktip reef shark at the Virginia Aquarium was found to have an unusual looking unborn offspring. Veterinarians believe its father was not a blacktip reef shark.
We should all be thankful the shark was not born. Who knows what could have resulted from the unholy union?
Key quote: “‘We must have had hanky panky’ in the shark tank, he thought.”
Written by Bryan McBournieCleavage guys don’t like
Posted on June 26, 2007
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Teenage boys are among the biggest fans of breasts, except, as it turns out, when those breasts are on their own chests. Apparently last year, 14,000 boys between the ages of 13 and 19 underwent breast reduction surgery.
That’s roughly 70 percent of everyone who had the operation. What does this mean for our teens? It means boys are finding they are not getting the manly pectoral muscles they expect at the tail end of puberty. Instead, they are getting some budding boobs.
Take it from SG, boys. While no guy likes having their own breasts, getting man boobs means you really are a man, so start shaving your legs and drinking appletinis.
Written by Bryan McBournieSG Special Report: Missing wifebeater found by Huntsville PD
Posted on June 25, 2007
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SeriouslyGuys was live at the scene in Huntsville, Alabama when a man wanted for domestic violence was on the loose. City of Huntsville police found the missing wifebeater, a common occurence in Alabama, but there are no reports on the man’s missing shoes.
Expect further details regarding the man’s tooth count and NASCAR preferences as more information is released.
This blog can now confirm that everything you’ve heard about Alabama is true.
Written by Rick SneeAnother great warrior
Posted on June 25, 2007
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Folks, last week we told you about a Florida man who killed a rabid bobcat with his bare hands. We told you to learn from his example and take the fight to the enemy. Well it seems you listened.
A man in Georgia defended his sons when a black bear conducted a raid on their campsite. When the man’s six-year-old son threw a shovel at the bear (great job, young warrior!), it came charging at him, leaving the man, Chris Everhart to fight back. The ex-Marine grabbed a piece of firewood at the bear and hit him in the head. Killing it with a single shot.
Once again, we all need to take a page from these brave men’s playbooks. The fight could come at any time, so be ready.
Written by Bryan McBournie « go back — keep looking »