MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Crippled Masters’

Reasons Why You Should Seek Out And Watch The Crippled Masters:

-The VHS box art is awesome yet tells you everything you need to know about the movie.

-The one sentence gist: two kung fu masters, one without arms the other without legs, fight an evil warlord who has a metal hump on his back.

-It’s very educational. For example, did you know that having both your arms cut off produces very little blood and that a removed arm will leave a nub? What about that feudal China possessed concentrated acid capable of rendering a man legless? Betcha won’t learn that in your smarty-smart books.

-Like Superman, you will believe that a man can fly. Except in the case of The Crippled Masters, you will believe that a man walking on his hands can outrun most guards.

-A guy with one arm and a nub fights alongside a man with no legs. It’s the original high concept movie.

-C’mon, it’s got a guy with one arm and another that’s legless fighting. Do you really need a better reason to watch this movie?