Kidz Korner: Books after ‘Harry Potter’
Posted on July 17, 2007
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The last Harry Potter book comes out on July 21, which means that you’ll never have to read another book again …. Or does it?
There are plenty of other supercool fantasy series to read after Harry Potter presumably dies at the hands of superior wizard, Volde-whatever. They may not take place at Hogwarts, but they’re just as magical.
1) The complete works of Jackie Collins. You’ve had your fun as a wizard-in-training. Now live out your next set of fantasies as a sexy Hollywood executive, sexy lawfirm partner or even a sexy pool boy/girl. Just like wizardry, not everyone can be magical or sexy, but it’s fun to pretend.
2) Fan fiction. Only a mouse-click away, you can read the shallow attempts of others to insert themselves into prominent roles in your favorite nerdiverses. And if you read enough, then you, too, can write yourself saving the crew of the USS Enterprise by reversing the polarity on the coffeemaker or mouth-to-mouth resuscitating an unconscious Hermione Granger.
3) The Chronicles of Narnia. It’s a magical world with heroic kids and has movies to watch as you get older and lazier. Best yet, it’s full of Christian allegory, so you can save your soul after filling it with witchcraft and goblin-banking. WWJR? These books, of course.
4) The Bible. If the allegories in Narnia don’t cut it for you, then go right to the teat for the greatest-selling fantasy story of all time. Just like Harry Potter, there are giants, villains that can turn into snakes, bearded wizards with magical staffs, ghosts (angels), and a plucky young hero that performs magic. Just a warning: it gets a little preachy.
5) The complete works of Anne Coulter. You, too, can pretend there’s a mass conspiracy against American values. Unlike the imaginary battle with evil magicians, this is a war that never has to end because there will always be new things to complain about. If J.K. Rowling taught you how to be a wizard, Coulter will teach you how to be a witch.
As you can see, the fantasy never has to end! Get to a library (it’s a big building with free books and no sorting hats) and start exploring new wor(l)ds July 22. It lets the dogs out!
Written by Rick SneeThis blog can’t compete with the headline
Posted on July 17, 2007
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NASA, the people that brought you the Hubble Space Telescope that didn’t work at first and the Mars Climate Orbiter, which crashed due to a confusion in measuring units of distance, bring you a sign for the Space Shuttle Endeavour’s mission.
It reads: GO ENDEAVOR!
Since it is spelled correctly, technically it’s not a typo. But the shuttle, which will launch in August, is named after Captain James Cook’s HM Bark Endeavour. We all know those Brits don’t know how to spell.
Written by Bryan McBournieGreat moments in law enforcement, vol. 2
Posted on July 17, 2007
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In this post 9/11 day and age, it’s honestly not that inexplicable to have a fear of “the sky falling” … or at least objects from it. Frankly, in a world with terrorists, gas bombs, and both Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton standing on high level balconies, no one can be sure what may fall onto them. That’s why I’ll admit that I’m glad to have police that make sure I’m feeling safe. They’ll do whatever they can to stop people from doing things that could possibly cause me harm.
The police in Berlin? Not so much.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorJust when you thought it was safe to go back in the water …
Posted on July 17, 2007
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It’s summer. Warm weather, a comfortable atmosphere (depending on where you are), grilled food, and typically the ability to relax. Now, put that into the mind of a teenager: angst, strife, and a lack of being able to refresh your MySpace homepage every 15 seconds while in the outdoors. That’s already an extremely stressful half-hour to one of them (what if someone in your Top 24 drops you? ZOMG!!!11), but to couple that with being attacked by flying fish (even if they don’t actually fly) … well, that’s just down right mean.
Key quote: “We all started crying and screaming and stuff.”
The next time you’re outdoors, instead of pointing that Roman candle to the sky, point it at the local lake. Together, maybe we can help prevent more and stuff from happening to more of our country’s youth.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorGreat moments in law enforcement
Posted on July 17, 2007
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Ever wanted to just hop in a car and cruise around without regard to the vehicle’s condition or whatever damage might be incurred on surrounding property? One person made such a dream come true.
He (or she, but this blog is guessing he) made it happen in a stolen garbage truck. He knocked out power to part of an Illinois town and hit trees, fences and cars along the way. Yet somehow this mastermind escaped without being caught. Police have no suspects.
Written by Bryan McBournie