Three men who plead guilty to soliciting sex in Ohio ended up getting a sentence they were not exactly expecting. They have to take turns wearing a chicken suit.
Instead of a 30-day prison sentence, they have to stand outside the courthouse from 4 to 7 p.m. holding a sign that reads “No Chicken Ranch in Painesville,” a reference to a legal prostitution house in Nevada.
Sounds like a good deal to me.
This blog has nothing but the utmost respect for the people at NASA and if anything, recent news does nothing but increase our enthusiasm for what they do.
A panel studying astronaut health said yesterday on at least two occasions, astronauts were so drunk they posed a flight risk on launch day. Nevertheless, the drunks were allowed to fly. Talk about taking your buzz to a whole new level.
Who wants to drink with this blog during the Endeavour launch? Drunks in spaaaaaaaace.
By now, everyone has heard about how Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is facing a slew of charges for dog fighting and mistreating animals. It has drawn the scorn of many protest groups, like the turncoat People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
This blog is here to say Michael Vick is a hero. He was doing exactly what any true warrior with the means would do in this crazy mixed-up war. He captured several of the enemy and turned them against each other in a technique seldom seen since Vietnam.
Instead of scorning Vick we should be hoisting him on our shoulders. Bravo, Vick! You have lead the way for us all.
Yet this crisis shows the hypocrisy of the country. Why is it perfectly acceptable for our armed forces pilots to practice dog fighting, but not for our athletic stars? Why is it there are no pickets outside of the History Channel headquarters for airing their new season of Dogfights? If it’s OK for one to do it, it’s OK for everyone to do it.
That’s why this blog has $50 riding on the one with the foam coming out of his mouth.
Apparently, UFO’s may or may not have terrorized a town recently. Sound like a bad July 4 based movie? Nah. Think more bad Sci-Fi channel premiere of the week. So, what do we know about what’s happened?
1. The only witnesses were people who were walking out of pubs.
2. The Weekly World News, the “world’s only reliable news paper”, is not behind the incident, as it’s too busy being closed by its parents.
3. Stratford-Upon-Avon contains no stars in its sky whatsoever. Except for four of them.
(Courtesy of Mike Morrow)
Not through statues…not through memorial days…but through wildlife reserves!
Remember animal race-we humans are resilient, all thanks to our opposable thumbs. Try giving a thumbs up sign to that.
If you thought secondhand smoke was bad, then how about secondhand fat?
This blog is still waiting for a medical study on secondhand stupidity.
Hospitals are sacred places. They are often viewed as safe from the front lines of any war, regardless of location, race or species. However, one hospital in Providence, Rhode Island is by no means a safe haven from the War on Animals.
Oscar the cat for some reason is allowed to walk the halls of the Streere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center. Most of the time, when Oscar decides to lie down next to a patient, by some strange coincidence that patient ends up dead a matter of hours later.
Gee, do you think that sleeper agent of a cat has anything to do with it?
So I read an article yesterday about some guy bringing his gun to Haborfest in Norfolk, Va. When it turned out he wasn’t a cop and didn’t intend to take his .45 and go home, the police arrested him. Since this is Virginia, the news has been greeted by armed citizens and the Virginia Citizens Defense League, who are arguing for the man’s Second Amendment rights and claim that state carrying laws trump an event’s wish to ban firearms.
I’m not going to argue for or against the man’s arrest. The gun ownership advocates will give that argument greater (or lesser) justice. My argument is against guns rights groups and their half-assed interpretation of the Second Amendment.
If you read the Second Amendment, it grants the right to bear arms–not just guns–in order to maintain a militia. The question is not whether groups like the NRA and the VCDL are endangering the rest of us by handing out guns with mortgages, but why aren’t they fighting to uphold the Second Amendment’s real meaning as the framers intended?
The whole point of the Second Amendment is to allow citizens to form militias to protect all of the other rights in our constitution should any government–foreign or domestic–attempt to take those rights away. Ignoring the fact that any repressive government would repeal the Second Amendment, rendering any gun owner unconstitutional and the NRA and VCDL moot, these arms must deter or combat essentially any standing army, including our own.
(For those already snickering, this isn’t a literal satire advocating the amputation of arms from infants. Jonathan Swift was so-o-o 262 years ago.)
Guns are not enough to stop Army Strong (even if it is an Army of One). Our individual owner’s rights should include all arms for waging war on the United States, including–but not limited to–swords, crossbows, howitzers, tanks, plastic explosives, stealth bombers and tactical nuclear warheads. Anything less would abridge my Second Amendment rights to keep and bear arms for my antidisestablishmentarian militia.
(Now recruiting: the Rick Snee Antidisestablishmentarian Militia. Join our Facebook group!)
Since the NRA and VCDL focus only on guns, I can only make one of two logical assumptions about them: either 1) they’re in the pocket of anti-nukes politicians and special interest groups in order to keep us from uprising, or 2) they can’t read.
The NRA has an out, of course: they’re the National Rifle Association. However, they also advocate private ownership of handguns and shotguns, so my assumptions apply.
The VCDL has no excuse. Virginia’s citizens need every possible arm attainable to once again gloriously uprise against the wussy liberal North. No one wants another embarassing Appomattox because the Antidisestablismentarian Militia didn’t have an adequate missile shield.
It’s time to stop giving groups like the NRA and VCDL any form of legitimacy. They aren’t really fighting for our Second Amendment rights, not completely. They’re just like liberal environmental groups that want to promote hybrid cars for cleaner air, yet let the cows and their methane farts–the real culprits–live. Until they win my right to own my own fully-armed Apache attack helicopter, they’re just hogging the spotlight and accomplishing nothing for the rest of us.
An anti-porn group in Indiana is targeting local sex shops with a giant billboard that proclaims “XXX: Garbage In, Garbage Out.”
Be careful what you say, ROCK-you may have negated all support for your cause by possibly naming the latest hot movie.
Remember hearing those stories about people stealing PS3s from the lucky few on launch day? Australia, not one to be left out of current social events and issues, recently had a home invasion where the only item taken was a Sony Playstation.
No, there was no extra number attached to the Playstation title. Yes, you read that right-the thieves stole an original Playstation, not a PS2 or PS3.
You know what Australia? You keep trudging along. Eventually you’ll hit the year 2001, big guy.
