That’s sonar fair!
Posted on August 7, 2007
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
We’ve always known that the environmentalists and other beast-saving groups are traitors in the War on Animals, but it seems now they have transformed themselves into something much more than that. They are now a human wing of the animal cause bent on using our own legal system against us.
A federal judge yesterday ordered the U.S. Navy to stop using sonar that could potentially hurt or kill marine life, like whales and dolphins. It can make them deaf or even cause them to beach themselves. So why is it OK for our enemies to use sonar?
Isn’t that what the Navy is supposed to do? Fight our enemies wherever they might be? They’ve kind of been shut out of the action in the fun wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, it’s only natural they want to make up for it by taking the fight to our enemies in this most deadly of wars. Besides, sonar is just like playing Marco Polo.
Written by Bryan McBournieIt wasn’t me, it was the one-limbed man
Posted on August 7, 2007
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
It’s getting clearer and clearer that there are threats against normal, everyday people in the form of subversive groups. First it was the witchdoctors, then the zombies (which are still out there and hunger for your brains), now it seems society is facing its deadliest foe: the handicapped.
We were shocked to discover yesterday that the blind feel it is their right to operate a motor vehicle, despite the complete lack of seeing roads, signs or pedestrians. Now, they almost comically deprived of limbs feel they have the same right to drive.
A Florida man with no arms and one leg was sentenced to five years in prison for various traffic violations. What’s worse is it seems he said a habit of poor driving, surprisingly enough.
Key quote: “He once had a valid license, but it has been suspended several times since 1985, according to his attorney. He starts the car with his toes, shifts with his knee and steers with the stump of his left arm. He turns on the lights with his teeth.”
Written by Bryan McBournieHow hardcore is that cop?
Posted on August 7, 2007
Filed Under Headline of the Day | Leave a Comment |
He’s so hardcore that he has to wear Hello Kitty on his arm.
Possible ramifications to ponder about:
-What will all future Thai loose cannon cop genre films look like?
-What will the Thai edit of Die Hard look like?
-Wouldn’t it be more effective to have cops wear the armbands on the outside of the police department, like on the streets, than just in the building?
Show respect for police officers
Posted on August 7, 2007
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Great news, gang! If you flip off and curse out a law enforcement officer for no apparent reason, the police department will actually pay YOU.
A man in Mobile, Alabama found this out recently, after he was awarded $10,000 from the Mobile Police Department. He was arrested after flipping off and swearing at a cop and sought damages for being put in jail and nearly fired from his job.
Of course, this new precedent has not been tested outside of Alabama, so we are sure our Alabama resident, Rick Snee, will test it out for us, we need you to test it wherever you are.
Written by Bryan McBournie