Panda jerk
Posted on August 9, 2007
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Pandas. They’re cute and cuddly, and their complacency in War on Animals comes in the form of their reluctance to mate in captivity. Perhaps we should consider these self-hating animals our allies. After all, scientists say those black circles around their eyes are most likely caused by staying up all night crying and wallowing in shame.
But wait just one minute. The emoest of the animal kingdom could just be lulling us into a false sense of security. Take Jinzhu the panda, for example. She passed herself off as a male for a long time, only to one day be outed as a female and later give birth to cubs.
These pandas are dangerous. They are like the Terminators. They try to pass themselves off as one thing and gain our trust, then they betray us as soon as possible.
Written by Bryan McBournieCongratulations everyone!
Posted on August 9, 2007
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
We did it! That’s one down, at least 50 more species to go.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorRemember when …
Posted on August 9, 2007
Filed Under Scurry '07 | Leave a Comment |
… “Made in China” was still better than “Made with pride in the USA?”
Yeah … not so much lately. Let the year of “BUY AMERICAN, NO SERIOUSLY, JUST ACTUALLY TRY IT FOR ONCE” continue!
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorRed Cross sees … er, red
Posted on August 9, 2007
Filed Under What a Reach! | 1 Comment |
Finally, a company with our best interests at heart is finally fighting the machine. By the machine, we mean the Red Cross.
Tired of the Red Cross making money by selling products that help people, and spending that money on further helping people, Johnson and Johnson is demanding all money made from those sales and then some.
The Red Cross is obviously distressed, and is crying to “the courts and Congress.” Of course, Johnson and Johnson has a product that will help.
Written by Rick SneeMonkeys on a Plane
Posted on August 9, 2007
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Authorities caught a traitor and his would-be accomplice this week when a man brought a monkey on a plane with him.
According to the reports, the man hid the monkey in his ponytail when they went through security. We all know that the ponytail is one place security people would never think to look for an illegal mammal, regardless of how implausible the idea may sound.
The monkey left his hiding place during the flight and the pair were caught. When they landed in New York they met with some rough treatment.
Key quote: “‘We’ve contacted health officials, and man and monkey will be turned over to appropriate officials. He was never on the loose in the airport,’ DiFulco said.”
This is incredible news, the monkey is being prosecuted along with the man. The government may finally be catching up to this war.