Day: August 13, 2007

Like they do on the Discovery Channel

For as long as there has been war there have been the temptress spies getting information from officers and their loose lips in bed. The most famous example of this is Mata Hari. However, it seems the War on Animals has taken the femme fatal to a whole new level.

Blame it on the Norwegians.

Farmers and animal owners in Denmark openly advertise bordellos where the wares are not women, but animals. Shockingly enough, this is more or less legal in Denmark, and Norwegian tourists are flocking to them. This blog understands the tempting nature of the thought of making love to one of our enemy, but we all must forgo the urge or they will know too much about our operations.

(Brought to you by Elliot)

2+2=54

If there’s one thing we at SG aren’t, it’s MATH GENIUSES; however, you don’t need to know a cosine from a tangerine to know when fuzzy math is afoot. All those surveys that say men have twice as many sex partners as women are very interesting, even if they’re, you know … mathematically impossible. We’re looking at a very fuzzy situation, ladies and gents. Strap your nerd hat on people, this could get messy.

The McBournie Minute: Hurricanes

It’s August, and that means two things: here come the hurricanes and Christmas commercials are only a couple weeks away.

But for some reason, we haven’t seen a single threatening hurricane this year. The best we have seen are some dinky ones in Mexico and Flossie, a hurricane currently heading toward Hawaii. Just like last year, there has been nothing that interesting this season.

Remember two years ago? You couldn’t go a week without hearing about a new hurricane forming off the coast of Africa. It was the year Mother Nature took a WrestleMania approach to attacking the eastern seaboard. A year before that there were nearly as many storms.

I miss seeing weathermen yelling and struggling against the wind as they report live from the landfall site of a hurricane. Normally I hope a large piece of debris comes to carry them off. More so, with such scorching hot weather, many places in the country are experiencing drought conditions.

Shape up, hurricanes. You’ve got some havoc to wreak.