Love that dirty water
Posted on August 20, 2007
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Marcos Diaz, the Dominican world-record swimmer, has beaten asthma and become a pretty good swimmer, seeing as how he swam the Strait of Gibraltar faster than anyone else. He now has a new challenge ahead of him: on Saturday he will swim around the island of Manhattan. He hopes to raise money for Dominican children with cancer.
In future news, Marcos Diaz, the Dominican world-record swimmer is dead of meningitis.
Written by Bryan McBournieChugs is old
Posted on August 20, 2007
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SG would like to send out birthday wishes to our own Chugs Taylor, who turns 24 today. This blog would also like to note that he is a filthy, filthy whore. His customers know what we are talking about.
Written by Bryan McBournieRattling up a card game
Posted on August 20, 2007
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Two Colorado men were arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit murder after a plot was uncovered. Not surprisingly, it involved rattlesnakes.
Apparently, the men planned to kill a man who owed them a large amount of money. No doubt the men went to the snakes, better known as the mafia of the Animal Kingdom, for help. The snakes obviously agreed to do the hit for the men. But were they ever charged? No. Yet another miscarriage of justice.
Remember folks, guns don’t kill people, rattlesnakes kill people.
Written by Bryan McBournieThe McBournie Minute: Movie Theaters
Posted on August 20, 2007
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Last night I went to a nearby movie theater to see Superbad. While I will leave the movie reviews to Chugs, it’s time to talk about etiquette in the movie theater, because people out there really need it.
I am not here to be that annoying singing frog band from some Disney movie singing about turning off cell phones, which is the most annoying announcement in movie theaters today. No, I am here to say TURN OFF YOUR DAMN CELL PHONES. This is one I just don’t get. I am glad you put your phone on mute for me, but are those text messages really so important you need to answer them right then, your screen’s bright light diverting my attention? Unplug every now and then, folks, you did manage to live for a couple years just fine without those things.
For a long, long time, my movie experiences have been just fine. Relatively uneventful, aside from the movie itself, but lately there is a disturbing new trend: babies crying. Listen, ma’am or sir, I understand you don’t get to go out much since you had the kid and you really wanted to see this flick and all, but if you can’t afford a babysitter, you shouldn’t be going out. It’s like going to a bar and not tipping the bartender. Watch movies at home. At the very least, stop going to movies in the evening, violent, loud ones, at that. Go see whatever penguin movie they just made.
Show some respect, everyone. Now if you want to look for me next time you’re out, I’ll be the guy tossing popcorn in the air every time he laughs.
Written by Bryan McBournie