According to scientists, the same people who brought you flying cars by the end of the 20th century, are now saying artificial life could be possible in the next three to ten years. This blog sees absolutely no reason to be alarmed.
Day: August 21, 2007
***Warning! Warning! You attention is required!***
This is an urgent SeriouslyGuys health bulletin! Please drop what- or whoever you are doing and pay attention for this announcment.
For those who missed the first part of this announcement: Do not wash your gentials after having sex with someone who is H.I.V. positive.
Thank you for your attention, and you may now resume having sex with your H.I.V. positive partner(s). (But don’t, for the love of Mary Magdelene, wash your genitals afterwards!)
Recycling rubber
Curious or deadly?
Monkeys are sneaky, sneaky animals. In yet another case of prisoners of war causing problems at zoos, Oliver the white-faced capuchin monkey made his wardens red-faced when he escaped from his cell for the second time in Tupelo, Mississippi.
Oliver apparently knows how to pick locks and open doors. He was found four miles away in a yard. It is likely he will face new charges for his escape.
Key quote: “‘I’m getting titanium locks next time,’ Nemecheck said. ‘I’m tired of chasing a monkey.'”
Smarter than the average drunk
Beer festivals are fun, everyone knows that. But even the most exciting of these can be ruined by an enemy attack. Such a thing happened in Serbia, a region of the world no stranger to enemy attacks. Police found the half-eaten body of a 23-year-old Serbian man in the bear cage at the Belgrade Zoo.
While this blog completely understands the point of drinking and carrying on in full view of the prisoners, taunting them all the way, there is obviously a safety issue. It is obvious this man was lured into the cage by the bears and their charms. Remember, soldiers: while they may look like stupid animals, unworthy of our respect or proper burial, they can be clever.
Key quote: “‘There’s a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage,’ zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.”