Worst governor ever
Posted on October 29, 2007
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Wisconsinites (Wisconsonians?) were a signature away from getting free shots at grocery stores, until Gov. Jim “Killjoy” Doyle vetoed the measure. Why free liquor in grocery stores? This blog asks, why not? Grocery shopping isn’t very entertaining sober, a nip here and there could only improve that.
The good news is that free beer is still allowed. Obviously, it’s a totally different animal.
What could make Wisconsin a better place is an veto override by the state legislature of Doyle’s veto. Folks, it’s time to call your local Wisconsin legislator, or one at random, and tell them how important it is to get crocked while grocery shopping.
This blog has already begun looking at houses in the state.
Written by Bryan McBournieHalloweird costumes
Posted on October 29, 2007
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Want to scare the ever loving crap out of your primarily conservative Republican neighborhood? The polls say go as this.
Written by Bryan SchoolsMile high entrapment
Posted on October 29, 2007
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What kind of sick airline flies planes that have private suites with double beds in them, and then forbids passengers from having sex on board? Singapore Airlines, that’s who. If you don’t like it, you can get the cane!
Still, maybe it’s not that bad of a ban if you think about it. I mean, if the plane is a rocking, you’re probably in a lot of trouble.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorFifth columnists in California celebrate creeps
Posted on October 29, 2007
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
For full effect, please put your 3-D glasses on. Also, you might want to put your coffee cup down.
No drive to war is complete without accusations of fifth columnists here in America, and the War on Animals is no exception.
Coarsegold, California (go figure), has embraced the foe that brought down beloved Captain Kirk. It is ugly, it is hairy and it is smaller than a breadbox: the tarantula.
The tarantula, which is Spanish for “get that f–king thing away from me, AIIEEE!” (yet another word that loses something in translation), is not a cuddly creature. On a scale from one to 10, one being not so deserving of a blow-torchin’ and 10 being incredibly deserving of a blow-torchin’, tarantulas score a 23.
By protecting these spiders, Coarsegold has sealed their fate, and the locals don’t even realize it:
- One morning last week when she walked out to her red car, it was white — completely covered in tarantula webs.
“I believe that was my sign,” she says.
“I think it was their little thank-you to me.”
Not to say we didn’t warn you, but now we have. Either get tough with these invaders, or expect the worst.
The McBournie Minute: Forest fires
Posted on October 29, 2007
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Before we begin, I would like to note that the McBournie Minute officially turns a year old today. Here’s to another one. Now enough of the self back-patting. One last thing, congratulations to Your 2007 World Series Champs the Boston Red Sox. Moving on.
By now, we’ve all heard about the forest fires currently ravaging parts of Los Angeles and San Diego. From how it looks at this point, it was the work of an arsonist. Let’s all hope they find the person or people responsible. Thousands had to be evacuated, untold amounts of damage to property and probably some people got killed.
They should have seen it coming.
Do you remember middle school science at all? Remember learning about places that are inherently dangerous? Guess what, it doesn’t just apply to textbooks. Growing up, I heard constantly how dangerous the California hills were for two main dangers: debris slides and fires, the former being the more common one. This sent a clear signal to me, even as a kid: don’t build a house there.
The same principle applies to other areas of the world, for example, flood plains and barrier islands. Sure, it’s really nice to have waterfront property. You can’t beat the views, and there is almost never any danger, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe to live there. Flood plains are pretty self explanatory. Barrier islands act as barriers for the coast. They block the strong storm surges caused by storms and hurricanes. Oh yeah, and they are constantly being eroded and moved.
This, however, does not stop development in such areas. Mankind keeps expanding into more remote areas because of the beauty, ignoring the risks. Soon, we forget there is any danger at all, and when something like this happens, we all stand back in shock.
Folks, here’s a little advice: don’t build a home in a naturally dangerous area, and if you do, get some good insurance.
Written by Bryan McBournie