Eat My Sports: Orange crushed
Posted on November 13, 2007
Filed Under Eat My Sports | 1 Comment |
The end of an era. The Orange Bowl was the Miami Hurricane’s fortress. The brotherhood of football players that had perhaps the most dominant home field advantage in college football over the past 30 years, had their home destroyed by UVA 48-0 on Saturday night. Granted, I am a supporter of the Wahoos, but pretty much anyone who follows college football got a good laugh of seeing the most dominant force in NCAAF in the past 20 plus years be humiliated in its last game at their historic stadium.
It was more than a game. UVA’s thrashing of the ‘Canes’ home was pretty much a metaphor for what is going to happen to the stadium after the season. Implosion, explosion, they all seem to be justifiable metaphors at this point.
But from an outsider’s perspective, the downfall of the Hurricanes’ football program as well as their daunted home field advantage was a long time coming. Their brash and arrogant attitude as well as disrespect towards the most able of athletes (Doug Flutie ring a bell to any of you Floridians?), led to a dismantling within six years of the most epic proportions.
Since 2001’s Ken Dorsey led national champions, the Hurricanes suffered an overtime loss to Ohio State in 2002 and haven’t returned to a BCS Bowl Game since. After having won five championships in 18 years up to the 2001 season, the recent Miami decline has been a breath of fresh air, and smells, well not like roses, but a welcome smell of rotting oranges.
When you beat up your opponents with absolutely no respect, karma, well, it’s a mother (See New York Yankees). So really, to see the Orange Bowl go, it’s not tragic, it’s fitting. Or rather, for once, putting the Hurricanes in their (new) place.
Written by Bryan SchoolsYour ‘generous bazoongas’ and you
Posted on November 13, 2007
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An author is on the warpath after her children’s book, Trouble on Tarragon Island, was banned in a Canadian elementary school for the controversial phrase “generous bazoongas.”
As voluntary supporters of all breasts everywhere, The Guys firmly advocate the right to bear generous bazoongas. We believe these, like the contested porn store in Virginia, can only contribute to communities, be it through beautification or even feeding the homeless.
Wait a minute: “What they say about my grandmother is true,” the girl says. “She does have generous bazoongas, and all of Tarragon Island has seen them.”
On second thought, there are limits to every right.
Written by Rick SneeShock after shock
Posted on November 13, 2007
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Tasers are fun, bro. YouTube has clearly shown us that much (The Guys are rather split on the college kid Tasing, but I’m all for Tasing people who don’t shut up).
However, as a police officer, what can possibly make using your Taser something less than a joyful experience? When you accidentally Tase yourself, and then you get in trouble for it. That’s what happened to one officer in Wisconsin. During a routine checkout in July, the Taser shot the officer in the hand and injured it.
Recently it was found the officer was at fault, because it should have been checked to be empty of the air cartridges that shoot the Taser’s prongs. Double ouch.
Written by Bryan McBournieYou get what you pay for–most of the time
Posted on November 13, 2007
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A local Virginia newspaper editorial has actually come to the defense of a town’s porn shop saying the city prosecutor is wasting taxpayers’ time and money by going after the store. Also: “If it manages to stay in business, then it obviously isn’t violating community standards.” Gee, that’s so crazy it almost makes sense.
And in the news side of things, the real shocker ( ll_i ) at Shockers ( ll_i ) Showbar isn’t the naked ladies, it’s the $6,000 bill they try to stick on your credit card for lap dances and drinks. Six grand in one night for lap dances isn’t that excessive really, but at least give the guy what he paid for. Which, being as it took place in West Virginia, probably meant that the guy should at least own the location.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorTerms of endeerment
Posted on November 13, 2007
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As it gets colder, animals start to hunker down for winter. However, at least one species instead gets randy and feisty this time of year and legally we can’t even kill them–yet. The animal I am speaking of, of course, is the deer.
It’s not uncommon to hear reports of people hitting deer with their cars, but recently a girl was hit by a deer as she ran in a high school cross country meet. This brutal attack left her largely uninjured, but sore.
We all need to be wary of deer, especially this time of year. Alert reader and Warrior of the Week Shiloh C. found this photo and offered the following insight:
“I think the deer are hoping some idiot will try to jump on the trampoline and thus be stabbed to death without the deer having to work for it.”
Well put, Shiloh. Keep your eyes peeled and watch out. Soon enough it will be hunting season.
Written by Bryan McBournie