Normally, Christmas is full of happiness, joy and spiked eggnog. Those of the Christian persuasion can celebrate the (possible) birth of the Lord. Those that wear the yarmulke can enjoy a nice December duck at the local Chinese restaurant. Agnostics and atheists can come together and rejoice in the consumerism of a jolly old man lives only for the amusement and happiness of good little boys and girls.
Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’
So a couple of Penn State students are receiving death threats for …
[Pausing for full affect of irony]
… wearing costumes consisting of Virginia Tech clothes with bullet holes.
Yes, VT students are upset that someone at Penn State has moved on with life rather than milk victimhood indefinitely. These perennial victims of shootings, carbon monoxide, gravity and Frank Beamer are issuing death threats to these students over Facebook, where the images were uploaded.
The funniest response is from apparently unnamed “Penn State officials”:
So what they’re saying is that two students don’t represent 90,000, but 32 represents 25,000+? Or how about the one Tech student out of 25,000+, as these threats indicate?
Some rescues have been charged with using gratuitous resources. Others can’t have enough. For example, a man in England had to be rescued by firefighters who had to remove a metal ring from his ring-a-ding-a-ling-a-ling with a … um … er … mini hand grinder. A moment of silence, please. It’s unknown why the ring was where it was. Frankly, we’re probably better off not knowing the answer to that.
Still not sure what to get that hard-to-shop-for person in your life? We know how it feels, you want to get them something, but you’re tired of getting the same old crap. Instead, why don’t you get them completely different crap. Namely, rhino crap.
The International Rhino Foundation, which this blog has never heard of but assumes is some kind of a hedge fund for the elimination of rhinos from the face of the earth (and WINNING!), is auctioning off four rhino turds from four different rhino species. Really, it’s the next best thing to mounting the head of one your wall, which for some stupid reason is illegal, unless you find one already in country.
Just imagine the look on their faces when they get a big ball of dung! They will thank you again and again.
Man’s best friend is nothing but a great PR campaign by the canine population. They are still animals and descend from wolves. Never turn your back on them and make sure to always bet on the bigger one when you’re at Michael Vick’s house. In any case, in an example of how dedicated these animals are to destroying the human race, a dog burned his house down.
That’s right. The dog’s master, a Kansas woman, was frying up some fish for dinner one night when she went outside to take the trash out. Seeing an opportunity, the dog closed the locked door behind her and then started a grease fire. The house had $50,000 in damage.
Bad dog, bad. No. You don’t start fires.
