The final entry for “SANTA DOESN’T LIKE YOU AND HE’S A BAD, BAD MAN” is here, and boy, is it a doozy. Be prepared for a whopper of a bad movie, because this Santa is buff, bad, big and a bad actor. Really, if you’ve seen any of the other movies in this theme, that last bit shouldn’t surprise you in the slightest. Hope your stockings are hung over a barricaded chimney because here comes Santa’s Slay! Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Santa’s Slay’
Day: December 21, 2007
Porn is such a lie
Let’s play fill in the blanks:
A ______ Bartow (Florida) High School math teacher was arrested for soliciting sex from a student.
If you said “male,” you are correct.
Had the sentence said “A ______ math teacher was arrested after having sex with a student and here’s a picture of the cougar,” then we all know the answer would be “female.”
Once again, schools–and education–are found to be unsafe for either innocent students or horny teachers. The only possible win-win situation is to end education all together.
Collision watch 2007
We’re in danger! An asteroid’s falling! Prepare for impact! Quick, someone get all the necessary supplies for this: Bruce Willis, Aerosmith, an oil company, and Michael Bay. We’ll show that asteroid what for! We’ll teach it that you can’t mess with … wait, what? It’s gonna hit Mars, and not us. In fact, the impact may not even be “dinosaurs go bye-bye” level? In that case, someone just call RATT instead.
It’s man-tastic!
So, ever dreamed of one day being contacted by authorities who would tell you you are the last living descendant and heir to a throne of some far away land? That happened recently to a Maryland man. I knew I moved too soon.
David Howe, who you may now refer to as, King David of Man, was crowned in March 30. He’s a normal guy with a family in suburban Maryland and has never even been near his kingdom. For those of you who don’t know where it is, it’s off the coast if England and is part of the United Kingdom. For the low, low price of $40,000 (donated to charity) he will make you a knight.
(Courtesy of Courtney P.)