Day: January 15, 2008

Eat My Sports: Championship football

After 19 weeks of teams beating each other harder than sorority girls in a tough pillow fight, we’re down to the final four of this NFL season. Of course, the New England Patriots still remain the fashionable pick to take home the crown, but we (mainly I) here at SeriouslyGuys don’t buy in to this “Perfect Patriots” nonsense. Or any type of sense that is in fact “non,” like Heath Ledger getting the role of The Joker in the next installment of Batman. Seriously, you couldn’t find anyone better than Heath “Brokeback” Ledger? I digress ….

We’re gonna break this down like an old-school rap for this weekend, and show you how maybe, just maybe, the mighty will fall. Can y’all dig it? We can dig it.

Continue reading Eat My Sports: Championship football

Time to feel better about yourself

Tuesdays traditionally are not great days. Sure, they aren’t Mondays, but they are still bad. You might be having a bad day, but cheer up, kiddo. It could be a lot worse, especially if you live in the U.K.

Recently, a man was sailing on his yacht across the Atlantic Ocean, when the weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. It tossed so much that the man injured himself quite seriously. So he immediately grabbed his satellite phone to send out a distress call to whomever could help him. He called … wait for it, his favorite pub.

Years back, a man and a woman from different parts of the country met and fell in love. After dating for a while, they decided they were quite fond of each other and got married. They would have lived happily ever after, until they found out they were actually twins separated at birth.

That’s an awkward dinner conversation.

From smurf according to his smurfbility, to smurf according to his smurfs!

The Smurfs are celebrating 50 years of indoctrinating youngsters around the world to the tenets of Soviet Marxism.

For those of you playing at home, you know what that means: a new 3-D animated movie! Still no word from Hollywood as to when they will begin production on an updated Marmaduke or Family Circus movie. All this blog knows is that Jason Lee will still get work for the next year.

Now that’s a fun hobby

Society has two main enemies at this point: animals and the poor. OK, the poor aren’t really that bad, we have far worse out there, but the point is animals are bad and people who don’t have jobs are burdensome on society. Luckily, India has a solution, because it has plenty of both.

One of the northern states of India, much like the rest of the country, is overrun with monkeys. So now the local government is going to hire the unemployed to sterilize monkeys. While this blog doesn’t think the measure goes quite far enough, it does make it harder for the monkeys to reproduce, which will drastically cut their numbers in the years to come.

Hey India, you know what else does that? Shooting the monkeys.