Day: January 24, 2008

How To: Survive a monster attack

History teaches us all something very important: monsters are out there and they will kill you. Wait, wasn’t it history that said there were dragons flying around and sea monsters at the ends of the Earth?

Maybe it’s Hollywood. Yes, Hollywood teaches us that monsters are out there and they will kill you. Take Cloverfield for example, something attacks New York and you get to see it firsthand through a herky-jerky hand held camera. This is not just entertainment, this is a cautionary tale. You can trust Hollywood, when have they ever lied to you? All they have ever done is make you laugh, cry and become infatuated with organized crime. That’s not wrong, is it?

Because the threat of monsters is ever-present, The Guys bring you this survival guide in case the worst should happen, and by the worst, we mean something large, green and ugly stumbles into town asking about you.

Continue reading How To: Survive a monster attack

‘Waiting for Godot’ vindicated by science

Image: “The Bar Scene” by Jonathan Harriot

Thanks to a study by three mathematicians, we now know that it is better to wait for the bus than to walk to another stop.

How does this revelation apply to this blog? Modern Drunkard Magazine coined the term “drinking with Godot”:

drinking with Godot adj. drinking while waiting for friends who may or may not arrive; from the Beckett play Waiting For Godot, wherein the title character never appears.

In other words, you’re not an alcoholic for drinking alone in the meantime–you’re waiting efficiently.

All’s well that ends damp

It’s safe to say that everyone loves happy endings, which is why The Guys are very glad to hear that the artist who had made a nude self-portrait out of a rug, only to have it stolen, has since found her precious carpet, relatively undamaged. And yes, the TV station, KATU, blurred out whole scale rug nudity. You wouldn’t want a bad example for the little kitchen tiles to be set, right? They’re oh so impressionable, after all. Especially little linoleum.

Don’t do the PDA if you can’t do the time

In China, public display of affection (PDA) is punishable by death. Not really, but apparently the Chinese find if funny as hell. Who can blame them? It’s not like they are allowed to see much else on the Internet, after all.

A couple in China is going to sue after a surveillance video in a subway showing the two kissing was released on YouTube and other Web sites recently. The video has become huge there, and the couple says they were embarrassed by the video’s release, even though they were making out in public for several minutes and were not embarrassed by that in the least.

It’s good to see China is finally adopting a style of justice closer to our own, frivolous system.