Day: January 30, 2008

Take it from Snee: ‘Serial Killer’ game is A-OK

If there’s one thing I enjoy about art, it’s an artist’s ability to willingly create something guaranteed to offend the masses. It seems easy: find a piece of collectively assumed “common” thought, and then create something that challenges that thought. The difficulty is separating yourself from common sense long enough to finish that project and then defending it when the townfolk have arrived with your rail.

Ryan Hobson has this difficult part ahead of him right now. The artist has a board game on display at the Vermillion Gallery in Seattle, Washington. The game is adroitly titled, “The Serial Killer Trivia Game,” and consists of moving a player piece around the board and answering trivia questions about, go figure, serial killers. If you get the question right, you “kill” someone on that space, which represents a house.

Continue reading Take it from Snee: ‘Serial Killer’ game is A-OK

State of the Sops

We begin this post with some very sad news from abroad. German beer sales are at their lowest in the past 15 years. Analysts are saying this means the German population is losing touch with its proud, beer-drinking culture. However, this blog suspects the Germans are merely busy preparing for other things. This blog suggests building and then tearing down a new Berlin Wall, so the Krauts have something to celebrate.

Now let’s head over to the States, where American drunkards refuse to let their need to bend an elbow get in the way of being responsible. A Wisconsin 911 operator, who no doubt is used to getting all kinds of unusual phone calls, got one that sets a new standard in drunken whoopsies: a drunk dial. A woman drunk dialed 911 saying she was took intoxicated to be driving. She said this as she drove along in her truck. Wonder how the cops knew to look for her?

“The woman’s boyfriend in the passenger seat suggested she call 911 to report her own drunken driving, so she did, Nehls said. The boyfriend was not driving, she said, because he was too drunk.”

Continue reading State of the Sops

Prequel threatens another sci-fi franchise

You know how we know the new Star Trek movie is going to suck? They just cast a kid for Cap’n Kirk.

And you know how we really know?

“… we were going to see old Spock and a much younger version of the character in the same movie, courtesy of some time travel plot device that hasn’t been fully disclosed … [emphasis ours].”

I am curious (black) … (red) … (blue) … (orange) …

Scientists say that chameleons don’t change color to blend into their environment, they do it to get some lizard nookie. Then maybe afterward, they use it to get away without calling again, but, well, that’s a completely different nature special. Or maybe they use it to satisfy their desire to be something that they’re not. I mean, everyone loves the red chameleon because he’s so charming, right? But what about poor pink chameleon, the wall flower of the reptile world? No one loves him at all. Does that make it OK for him to change his color to red?

NO. It only helps perpetuate the stereotype that pink chameleons are nothing but awkward. Go forth young pink chameleon, someone the courage deep within thyself, even from the depths of yon teensy tiny lizard balls, and ask out that happening blue chameleon. If not, well, there’s always the possibility of us creating an episode of Maury Povich for chameleons.

Sean Young shows young starlets how to get it done

Not to be outdone by Hollywood’s current stable of floozies, Sean Young recently took it upon herself to show Paris, Britney and Lindsay how to really make a drunken spectacle.

Ms. Young kicked it Olde Schoole by taunting a winning director at the Directors Guild of America Awards, unlike the current, lazier generation that gets drunk and stupid at clubs. Bascially, that’s like going down in Sunday mass as opposed to holding an orgy in a whorehouse.

Ms. Young has now trumped them again by entering rehab before an unseemly arrest. The word on the street is that she will go through it only once this year, proving that classy ladies are housebroken after one accident.

Take note, little princesses. You just got served by the Queen.

They want to slow our progress

All seems to be fairly quiet right now in the War on Animals. This may be caused by the cold weather, sending our foes into a dormant state, or in some cases, hibernation.

However, in the warmer climates it doesn’t appear to be cold enough for the enemy to stop the fight altogether. In Florida, 20,000 bats have made the underside of twin bridges their home. They are delaying the construction on Interstate 95. While this is probably a passive attempt at slowing down our progress, this does mark a possible change in strategy. They are now going after our infrastructure, we have seen some examples of this in the recent past.