We’re not going to name any names, but there’s a concern that a certain lady running for president can’t control her husband, who was also once president. It’s a sensitive situation, so we’ll call them Hilda and Billfred to preserve their dignity. When Hilda commented that she can control Billfred, it caused a lot of people to wonder if it’s possible to control any husband, much less Billfred. To help you proud owners of men, The Guys got together to write how to control that man o’ yours.
Day: January 31, 2008
Ghouls just want to have funds
Just when your faith in humanity can’t get any lower … SeriouslyGuys is here to make sure that it can! A male nurse recently admitted to stealing body parts from 244 corpses and then giving them to patients, all to make a buck. What’s really scary is that he was simply a part of ring spanning over 1000 body parts wide. Also, since we know that death certificates were forged to hide the knowledge that some of the parts were ridden with cancer and AIDS, we can only assume that the recipients of said parts will die … but how can we guarantee that they won’t die again? With a body part taking ring as large as it was, how can we not be sure that one of the members didn’t practice dark ju-ju that could create zombies? It’s a fairly easy jump to make, I’d say. Lee Cruceta and Michael Mastromarino, I’m onto you.
‘A year on,’ Boston still looks stupid
We’d like to thank The Boston Herald for reminding us that, one year ago, the Boston Police Department thought lite-brite displays were bombs.
One year later, and the news staff still doesn’t know the difference between “hoax” and “mistake” … unless they believe bomb scares help box office revenue.
Eat, drink and go voting
Idaho and its resident Idahoans have the idea. In an 11-7 vote by the House State Affairs Committee, liquor will allowed to be purchased and sold throughout the entire upcoming election.
Side note: We here at SeriouslyGuys DO NOT endorse getting loaded and then going out to vote, these circumstances usually lead to people like Ross Perot getting a percentage of the votes. However, if you are not a registered voter, and prefer to get loaded and think about Ross Perot, well we have no problems with that.
“Alcohol is alcohol is alcohol.”
Take that, Flipper!
We all know that the War on Animals is a frontless war. Attacks can come from anywhere at any time. However, while those facts may scare us humans, there is no reason why we can’t use them to put fear into the hearts of our enemies.
In Bangladesh, some fishermen took the fight to the enemy, and not by harvesting fish. They found a rare river dolphin and promptly beat it to death because they had never seen such a thing before. They then brought it into town to sell it, but when they couldn’t find a buyer, they dumped it off at a local museum, where it is scheduled to go on display.
Nothing like putting your enemies’ dead bodies up on display to serve as a warning to all others to stay away from the community.