Day: February 1, 2008

MasterChugs Theater: ‘The King of Kong’

The sporting world has known its share of classic rivalries: Ali and Foreman, Evert and Navratilova, Barkley and Godzilla. To this storied pantheon of titans we can now add Billy Mitchell and Steve Wiebe, the crème de la crème of competitive Donkey Kong players.

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters follows Steve Wiebe; an average dude living an average life with a wife and two kids. He’s the kind of guy who’s always had a hobby — be it baseball or music — but for one reason or another, has always come up short, mostly due to a string of bad luck dating all the way back to high school. A huge Donkey Kong fan from back in the day, Wiebe gets it in his head that he wants to try for the record — a high score secured by the great gamer Billy Mitchell back in 1982. A score that remained on top for years and years and years … until now. But it won’t be easy; Mitchell is a celebrity in the world of gaming, as well as a self-made millionaire due to his line of hot sauce. He’s a legend, who comes with a legion of fans and henchmen. Remember the Mantle/Maris home run race in 1961? Yeah, well this is even more intense.

No, really. It is. Hit the jump to see why. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The King of Kong’

Have you forgotten? Peoria hasn’t.

Texas may have the market cornered when it comes to executions, but Peoria, Illinois is expanding their operations to animals.

At a demonstration of man’s technical superority over the enemy at Manual High School, electricians (a.k.a. citizen soldiers) electrocuted an effigy of a squirrel. Students and faculty learned to safely incapacitate the enemy:

“We learned that electricity can be really dangerous and we need to be as safe as possible and remember everything that we’ve been taught throughout the years,” said Lauren Dow, a freshman at Manual High School.

[…]

Grace Figgers, a biology teacher at the high school, said Finley’s presentation was among the best assemblies she’s ever seen and thought the act was a terrific chance for her students to learn.

Never forget the attacks on 1-8 and 1-10.

Wii would like to teddy bear

Wii would also like to helmet. A recent look through the European Patent Office has uncovered some slightly “different” and utterly hilarious ideas from the house of Nintendo. Seriously, they’re head-scratchingly dumb. If you thought Nintendo couldn’t get lower than The Virtual Boy or R.O.B, then perhaps you might enjoy the Wii-peddle.

Considering just a little bit of the crap to come out of Nintendo’s peripheral catalog over the years (and just think of the upcoming third party peripherals, like the Wii attaché case), these shouldn’t even be surprising, but hopefully, considering this document of ideas was patented in March 2006, we won’t see too many of them brought to life. But then, the company that releases a big white pressure pad for a fitness game (now strengthened to hold fat Americans) is capable of anything.

The battle for Mexico’s ‘heritage’

Like The Guys, many Mexicans were muy triste y furioso at the news of their country’s oldest cantina shutting its doors. For those of you who didn’t know, after 150 years in service, El Nivel was basically kicked out by National Autonomous University of Mexico, who wanted the land.

Angry Mexicans and all-around drunk guys, or hombres borrachos, gathered on Tuesday to protest the closure. The protesters plan to petition the university and then the government to save the cantina because it is a “cultural and drinking heritage site.”

Ah yes, drinking heritage. Being the great-grandson of Irish immigrants, I remember when my father sat me down as a child and handed me my first glass of whisky. He told me, “Son, this is your heritage. When you drink this, you must always ramble on about the evil English and pick a fight with the nearest person or coat rack.”

(Note: This story is also being covered on our Spanish-language sister blog HombresSeriamentes.com)

What do you call a Polish zombie?

Poland, better known as Europe’s playground, is probably second most common butt of jokes in Europe (second only to France) but that doesn’t mean the zombies don’t take it seriously.

A man in Poland drowned in August, according to the Polish government. But now he is struggling to get the Polish government to recognize he is back from the dead. Thanks to red tape, the man cannot be a zombie until he has the government’s approval. At least their government is doing something about the threat of the undead.