Day: February 7, 2008

How To: Babysit young children

Our more dedicated readers are probably thinking, “but Guys, didn’t you cover this topic when you told us How To: Raise your kids?”

Well, dear reader, the answer is no. (By the way, nice job on hyperlinking in your thoughts!) Raising kids and babysitting them is totally different. Why? Because you get paid for it, and you really aren’t liable if anything happens to them in the first place. Odds are you will have to take care of your sibling’s kids, your neighbor’s kids, or even (gasp) your boss’ kids at least once in your adult life. Long gone are the days of high school side job. That was a great racket, wasn’t it? The rules have changed, so SeriouslyGuys presents how to babysit young children.

Continue reading How To: Babysit young children

Viagra in Israeli cockpits

Adding fuel to feminist theories about the phallic nature of missiles in combat, the Israeli air force plans to give combat pilots Viagra.

Israeli army doctors are considering the decision based on Viagra’s positive effects on mountain climbers at high altitudes. Viagra apparently reduces high blood pressure in lungs when they are hard-up for oxygen.

There is no word from the Israeli government as to whether they will need to redesign the control stick to avoid confusion in the heat of the moment.

From the SeriouslyGuys Vault: February 7, 1964

The Guys were caught unawares with the rest of the nation when, in 1964, America was invaded by the British for the first time since 1816. Unlike the Fifth Columnists shrieking at The Ed Sullivan Show a few nights later, we were swept with another form of Beatlemania: sheer dread and war fever.

Continue reading From the SeriouslyGuys Vault: February 7, 1964

12 year old thinks he’s hot stuff, burns crotch

Sony may not exactly make the safest products for those in America that might need … “more emergency care attention” than others. While it would seem that urinating on an active console would not be a good idea, as one guy found out (looking for said story, but if anyone wants to help out, please do), it would also seem that putting the Sony PSP, the portable gaming device known for heating problems, into your pants would be a bad thing. Who would’ve guessed?

A Warner Middle School student was in band class while his PSP was stowed away in his pants pocket. Later, around 8:30 a.m., Farmington Hills firefighters were called to the school, as the seventh grader’s pants miraculously spontaneously caught on fire due to the PSP overheating.

What a band geek! He’s not going to live this indignity down for a while. I mean, first of all, he gets his pants caught on fire because of video game unit, not something cool like cigarettes, but not only from the sounds of it, he was using a third party battery pack. He’s not even using the official product? Double lame band geek hall of shame for him!

I wonder if the kid is a red head?

The greedy, greedy zombies

In 2001, a Hungarian man was reported dead by his wife, who was obviously distraught. There was no body to be found, so the courts waited in 2003 to declare him deceased.

But then, last year the man rose from the dead and started staggering around, no doubt craving for brains. He and his wife were later arrested and charged with fraud, because they had apparently had over $1 million in life insurance on the man. Sorry, zombie punk! It’s called life insurance, not afterlife insurance. This serves as a reminder that the undead are indeed out there and we need to take care of them now with some swift justice.