Day: February 8, 2008

MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Squid and the Whale’

First of all, just a little bit of housekeeping: make sure to visit SeriouslyGuys everyday next week as I’ll be putting up a new movie review each day, all within SG’s new limited time theme: “Love in the Theater.” Now, the review.

The Squid and the Whale has the power to break your heart and heal it again. Acutely observed, faultlessly acted, graced with piercing emotion and unsparing honesty, it will make you laugh because you can’t bear to cry. Winner of two top Sundance prizes for filmmaker Noah Baumbach, Squid’s accomplishment is especially remarkable because its material is so familiar. “Squid’s” roots are in youthful autobiography, in a family’s divorce and a son’s coming of age, usually the elephant’s graveyard of independent cinema. With a title whose meaning and resonance become clear only at the close, Squid‘s great strength is that it is as perceptive as it is personal. It’s the work of a skillful writer-director who has what might be called perfect emotional pitch. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Squid and the Whale’

South and South: Civil War II?

It’s been one busy week for this Southern correspondent. On top of tornadoes, a sugar refinery explosion and Mike Huckabee delegates, Georgia lawmakers are instigating an expansion of their border into Tennessee.

Georgia’s legislature has proposed a resolution to “move the Tennessee-Georgia boundary about a mile to the north of where it now lies,” placing it exactly at the 35th parallel. The shift would give them access to the Nickajack Reservoir on the Tennessee River to help alleviate Georgia’s water woes.

Tennessee residents of the proposed Rhineland are opposed to the measure and have already drafted unofficial responses:

“One state senator offered to settle the issue with a football game. Another suggested floating an armada of University of Tennessee fans down the Tennessee River to defend the state’s territory.”

Could the 35th parallel become the equivalent of the 38th parallel between North and South Korea? We smell a new Ken Burns special! Stay tuned to this blog for updates as we cover, “South and South: Civil War II?”

The drink giveth, the drink taketh away

Remember those tornadoes that ripped through the South earlier this week, and how our own Rick Snee whined about nearly being killed by one? Turns out, if he really was scared for his life, all he had to do was start drinking the nearest bottle.

That’s exactly what one Tennessee man did. James Kruger was up late watching the Super Tuesday results on television when he saw a tornado warning for his county. Among his other preparations, he took a shot of whiskey. As soon as he took the shot, the tornado hit his house. He hit the ground and prayed for his life.

“Lying there, everything in the house flew over him, scraping and banging his back, Kruger said. Then the chaos stopped. ‘I was laying in the dirt. There was no floor. No nothing.'”

That’s right, there was no nothing left but Kruger and his buzz. Why was he saved? Most likely, because of the drink. Alcohol has been known to have strange powers over otherwise physical realities. It has the ability to play with the time-space continuum, prompting many philosophers to ask, “How the hell did I make it back here last night?” and “wasn’t she prettier when I was drunk?”

However, alcohol even has the power to inspire the evil genius inside us all. The drink inspired one man to threaten to blow up the city of Brisbane, Australia. The obviously inebriated man had a standoff with elite police units ranting about, amongst other things, that he had a device to trigger bombs all over the city.

That device? A television remote control.

The dangerous moose

While the winter’s cold has relegated most enemy combatants to hibernate or attack only in the south, animals in the colder climates have managed to find ways of getting to us humans. In Vermont, a moose has taken up residence in one person’s back yard for several months.

Named Rocky, because Vermonters often mistake moose for flying squirrels and boxers, the moose has become something of a roadside attraction, because it will walk up to cars and greet the people inside–not with words, yet. This blog is extremely worried about this, because not only is the moose lulling people into a sense of trust, officials think it may have a brainworm disease, which this blog thinks it was sent to give to as many humans as moosely possible.