Eat My Sports: Universal order
Posted on March 4, 2008
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
In my 25 plus years of existence on this planet I have gotten to see my favorite sports team twice. I have been lucky enough to say that. Never in their home town of Boston, but in two different cities with big enough fan bases to create a home field advantage.
According to Hank Steinbrenner though, there is no such thing as the Red Sox Nation. So therefore, when I saw the Sox play in Atlanta and in Baltimore, I did not witness away stadiums turn into a see of red jeering the home team. You’re right Steinbrenner, I guess what I saw was made up by ESPN. The July 4th outing in 2004 at Turner Field was nothing more than a facade, the overwhelming amount of Nomar (pronounced no-mah) Garciaparra jerseys were a mere mirage. Granted, Derek Lowe made the Sox look like nothing more than AA ballclub that night, but you get the point. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsDrunk as you think you are
Posted on March 4, 2008
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Just in time for spring break bingeing (and/or purging), The New York Times reveals the science behind acting drunk.
In a nutshell:
Since multiple cultures use booze for different social functions, there’s no one real behavior that is produced by hooch. This is reinforced by studies showing that people who believe they are drinking will act drunk, regardless if they’re actually drinking the hard stuff.
So if you have any kids laying around, now’s the perfect opportunity to see what they think “being drunk” is. Just tell them that Ecto-Cooler is absinthe.
Written by Rick SneeWarrior of the Week
Posted on March 4, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
It’s not often entire countries get behind a movement enough that one can associate the whole nation with that particular cause. This week, The Guys are proud to announce one country has done such a thing for the good of the War on Animals. That country is: Norway!
One lobby group has come up with a slogan so genius, it could become the war’s rally cry, or simply just make people’s heads explode. Their slogan: “Eat whale and save the planet.”
You read that correctly. A pro-whaling lobby group is trying to convince Norwegian lawmakers that it is better for the environment to eat whale meat, than to sustain cows, chickens and other livestock, with the intent to kill them for their meat. This blog think the argument is retarded, but will fully endorse any chance to wipe out the whale population once and for all! Perhaps the U.S. Navy could lend a hand.
In other European aquatic animal-related news: scientists have found the first-ever six legged octopus. Henry the octopus hexapus is in England. Why not call it a sexapus? Because “Sexapus” is the name of my upcoming debut album.
Nobody … does it like YOUUUUUU
Posted on March 4, 2008
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A Polish man working in England who was caught in a compromising position with his vacuum cleaner, claims he was just vacuuming his underwear, which is “a common practice in Poland.” Of course, it is! After all, how do you get potato chip crumbs out of your pants?
In other news, Poland issues one collective “Ow.”
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorFrom HombresSeriamentes.com: Multiplying bulls
Posted on March 4, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Bullfighting is probably one of the greatest sports in the world. Where else do so many people gather together to see a dangerous animal slowly and ritualistically killed? The running of the bulls is also good fun, because it teaches society that when a bull is running down the street toward you GET OUT OF THE WAY!
However, despite the bull’s many uses, it is also a threat to humanity. And despite international treaties condemning the practice, people still breed these monsters in Spain. Now, things are getting even worse, as one breeder says he wants to clone, or as they say in their country, “el clono,” a bull.
This must be stopped at once!
Written by Bryan McBournie