Let the terror of “MasterChugs March Movie Mort Month” (yes, we’re still big fans of alliteration) continue onward! Prepare for the most star-studded cast that you may have ever seen before: Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, Alyssa Milano, Vanna White, George Hamilton, Michael Berryman, and Robert Patrick. With a grouping like that, you can’t go wrong with Double Dragon, right? Well, let’s keep in mind one thing–if it falls under this month’s theme, then there’s definitely something wrong on celluloid. And boy oh boy, is there ever something wrong with this picture. We’re talking stinker of one of the highest kinds. Don’t believe me? Step on inside and see. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Double Dragon’
Day: March 14, 2008
Florida law gives wedgies to youths
There are many things that take a bag seat to more important matters. Things like two ongoing wars, a tanking economy, presidential primaries and the color of Britney’s undergarments all take a back seat when something as crucial as baggy pants is addressed.
As we reported last year, Atlanta tackled the baggy pants issue first, leading the way for the country. We have covered the national crisis since then. But the latest development comes to us from Florida, where the state legislature has just passed a law requiring students to pull up their pants for crissakes, why back in my day we never wanted our pants to be baggy or touch the ground, we even wore suspenders to ke–AHEM! Sorry about that, as far as we know that is what most Florida voters are thinking.
So just to clarify:
It’s what the people really want
Actions against anonymity on the internet have been taken again, though this time, it’s overseas! The former identical twin leader of Poland (no, the other one … or is it?) is strongly against allowing online voting, because the Internet is where people go to watch “pornography while sipping a bottle of beer.” Having apparently just seen Avenue Q, he also says web users are easily manipulated, which is totally not tru–hey look, boobies and a butterfly!
Dunkin’ DoNUTS
How do you like your coffee, a cream and two sugars? Or a twig and two berries?
New Yorker John Greco has a late March court date after ordering coffee at a Dunkin’ Donuts drive-through, sans the pants. No word yet as to if he ordered an eclair, donut holes, or both.
Justified Lawsuit of the Day
A 15-year-old is suing his his school. Not because he was sexually abused, not because he was racially discriminated against, not because he feels his teachers are not holding up to their end of the unspoken education contract. No, he’s suing because he was woken up.
Vinicios Robacher was sleeping in class when his iron-fisted teacher slammed her hand down on his desk. Robacher is suing, claiming to have suffered ear damage from the loud noise made close to his ear. And well he should. For far too long we have allowed educators to keep our nation’s sleepy youth conscious. They forget these kids are up all night doing important things like text messaging, giggling on the phone or the occasional “sleepover” that involves alcohol.
Our children need their rest!