This is the part of the NBA season where I get interested. No, not because my Knicks are making a late-season surge into the putrid Eastern Conference playoff standings, not because those “Where ____ Happens” commercials are appealing (side note: someone should really take a stand alone shot of Nick Anderson in the 1995 NBA Finals and write “Where $#!% Happens”). It’s because I find a team to latch on to and root for them for about six to eight weeks because it’s the only thing happening where a game means something. And for those of you attempting to call me out on abandoning my team, the last time the Knicks made a legitimate playoff appearance was in 2001, the 2004 appearance with Stephon “Thanks for sending another franchise down the drain” Marbury never happened in my mind. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Houston, we don’t have a problem
Day: March 18, 2008
Less filling, still tastes like booze
Drinking is a lot like working out: the more you do it, the better your body image gets, which leads to improved confidence, beer pong agility and endurance to work out drink more.
It’s no wonder then that British ladies have applied this principle to their diets. Called “drunkorexia,” these ladies skip meals to drink more.
The Institute of Psychiatry in London claims that they do this to lose weight. What these experts don’t realize is that, by eating less, the booze takes stronger effect. After all, you don’t eat a turkey dinner before running a marathon, right?
In related news, British women are pressured to drink more:
“With pressure on young women to drink but also remain slim, many are now swapping dinner for a large glass or two of wine” (emphasis ours).
Today in ancient animals
Scientists love looking at dead animals, the deader and older, the better. Some like it because they are morbid, godless homosexuals seeking to find their beloved Devil. Others like it because they get to learn things, like how animals were before we came along and killed them off.
One such fine example is in North Dakota, where an extremely rare fossil has been found: a mummified dinosaur. The mummy, which is oddly enough not wrapped in toilet paper, nor was it found in a temple, is a nearly complete example of a dinosaur and will give paleontologists (godless and warriors alike) the chance to see how these monstrous creatures really looked, with, you know, flesh on them.
However, this blog is still hesitant. The dinosaur is now as hard as rock or even metal. This cannot go well should the dino wake up.
In other news, have you ever wanted to have your very own mastodon? You can’t, of course. They are all dead thanks to a little genocide on the part of our ancestors. You can, however, own a mastodon skeleton if you go to the right garage sale. A hippie San Fransisco resident is selling a mastodon skeleton she has just lying around in her garage. You know how easy it is to acquire junk.
The best news of all is that you don’t have to live in the area to buy it, you just need to have $115,000 and the ability to place a bid on eBay. Happy hunting!
THIS is how you kill Jesus
British television viewers are upset about The Passion, a lavish new series about the rollicking life and times of Jesus Christ. What has them so … crossed?
SPOILER ALERT: The TV Romans nail Jesus to the cross in a fetal position, not in the traditional Creed-rockin’ out pose.
According to The Daily Mail article, the BBC “is being accused of ignoring evidence in the Bible and gratuitously offending Christians who cherish the image” of Jesus dying horribly.
As we approach Easter, let’s remember how we do and don’t scourge lords and saviors. No need for any embarrassing mishaps, eh?
Criminal Mastermind of the Week
A Michigan teen either has brass ones, or is incredibly stupid. Given this blog’s history of coverage of the human race, we’re going to say it’s the latter.
The spike in gas prices is hitting everyone hard. It hits some people so hard that they must resort to stealing gas from other cars. After two arson complaints in a week of houses just being built, detectives were on a stakeout in the neighborhood to catch the arsonist.
Then a allegedly kid walked up to the cruiser, unscrewed the gas cap and began siphoning gas out of the car. Obviously, the cop got out and chased after the kid. He was eventually caught and police said he admitted to the arsons.