Day: March 26, 2008

Take it from Snee: Who is Hillary Clinton?

Don’t let that McCain ad in our right-hand margin fool you: SeriouslyGuys is, and always has been, a relatively apolitical site. We don’t endorse candidates because we’re issues-driven. (Those issues, of course, are the wars on animals, aliens and education.) That said, when we write about political candidates in the Scurry section, it’s always in the interest of equal-opportunity offense.

So there’s been some bellyaching from Hillary-supporters. They are upset because Barack Obama gets, as they put it, “far more coverage” in the media. In an attempt to balance the Democratic media-coverage spreadsheet, I’ve decided to provide the Hillary campaign with coverage comparable to Obama’s. (You’re welcome, Mrs. Clinton.)

Continue reading Take it from Snee: Who is Hillary Clinton?

Call it what it is

Remember when bathroom tissue was called “toilet paper,” or when prisons became “penitentiaries?” Well, the PC police seem to be at it again, in of all places, West Virginia.

There, the new owners of a 19th century hospital that has held many titles, have changed the name of the building back to the “Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.” This is causing a stir with people who find that term for the mentally ill, or as medical books refer to them, “nutsos,” is rude and should not be revived.

This blog must defend the new name. It is well documented that insanity comes from looking at the moon too much, which is where the term “lunatic” comes from. To deny this simple fact of god-fearing science is to deny reality. Or perhaps it’s the “asylum” part they find offensive. Should the crazies not have a safe place, or asylum, from the world? Shame on you, liberals!

One thing all parties agree upon is that watching West Virginians attempt to spell Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum should be a lot of fun.

Personally, I prefer Colt .45 and a little Teddy Pendergrass myself …

Frigid panda jerk!Pandas are very prudish fickle creatures, and as such, don’t enjoy porn. Who would’ve guessed? As such, species traitors animal handlers in China have developed a “sexercise” program to try and get the little guys to get busy. I really hope that “Rumpshaker” is on the mix-tape. Is this truly cause for alarm in regards to the War on Animals? Not really. I mean, hey, if they can’t get in the mood after watching porn made specifically for them, maybe those bears just want to be left alone and go extinct, y’know?

Brew and a haircut, two bits

It is a sad day in Michigan. Once again, activist judges are trying to keep people from their favorite pass time: drinking. But what’s worse is that now they are issuing rulings that threaten free enterprise.

There are 11 Jude’s Barbershops in the Grand Rapids area, and thanks to a court ruling, now none of them can give a free beer with a shave or a haircut. The state’s attorney general said the barbershops need a liquor license in order to give out the free brew.

In totally unrelated news, Grand Rapids area men are now getting hairier for no apparent reason.