Day: April 18, 2008

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Puddle Cruiser’

Puddle around with the GuysBroken Lizard comedy continues this month, and this week, we’ve got the one that started it all. Shot on the illustrious campus of Colgate University (home of the Raiders with such bright and shining teeth), Puddle Cruiser is the film that started it all, hailing alllllllll the way from merry ol’ 1996. First movies of individuals and groups tend to earn nostalgic places in the hearts of audiences. After all, what better way to remember someone than when they first started. I mean, who doesn’t love Christina Ricci as that adorable little Wednesday Addams, or Will Smith as a HI-larious fish out of water? Of course, that doesn’t mean that we can avoid the elephant in the room: is the movie any good, though?

Hit the jump and you’ll see the answer for yourself. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Puddle Cruiser’

You Missed It: Blame it on the grain edition

It’s Friday afternoon once again. For those of you who are out enjoying the nice weather in most parts of the country–well, you are not reading this anyway, so we will just stop right there.

Grain Price Riots
Earlier this week, the price of most grains skyrocketed because of scarcity and other grain-related reasons. Riots broke out among the hungry in many third world countries, most notably Haiti. The panic was beginning to hit the American South when it was finally realized the grain shortage would not affect the price of grain alcohol.

Pope Visits D.C.
This week, Pope Benedict XVI made his first trip to the U.S., starting off with a three-day tour of Washington, D.C., part of which was his birthday. The 81-year-old virgin celebrated a Mass en masse at the brand new Nationals Park, home of the Washington Nationals. The Pope was lauded for his big entrance when warm up music started playing and the announcer came on: “And now, the right-hander hailing from Vatican City, number 16 in your programs but number one in the Church, His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI!”

Long Baseball Game
The Colorado Rockies may have worn out their welcome as the San Diego Padres hosted them for a night game April 17. The game ended up lasting 22 innings, falling four innings shy of a league record. The game ended after 3 a.m. local time on April 18. Many players complained that their drug dealers were already in bed at that hour.

‘Sims’ Hits Milestone
Video game The Sims hit 100 million sales this week, the milestone being hailed by critics as a sign of the franchise’s endurance in the gaming world. The critics then ducked their heads back down again to continue beefing up their World of Warcraft characters for battle.

Not Putin the stones to gymnast

Contrary to Wednesday’s report, Vladimir Putin denied secretly (apparently the former KGB agent forgot what “secret” means) divorcing his wife and marrying a 24-year-old Olympic gymnast.  This blog guesses that it’s not that good to be the king president.

In completely unrelated news, SeriouslyGuy Chris “Chugs” Taylor has vanished.  We’re certain he won’t not show up in Siberia.

Catholic guy goes jogging, runs in traffic

In the rock-paper-scissors world of jogging, biking and hiking, cars are the dynamite.Most people out there don’t mind jogging. After all, it’s lightweight enough on the body and you have at least a 50 percent less chance of not being beaned in the head by a weight bar. But hey, if you’re into increasing the challenge, then by all means, go for it! Carry that weight bar while you’re running! Eat those fu-gu (blowfish) organs while jogging! By gum, this is America, and you’re proud!

Just keep in mind that the religious pilgrims of Poland have got you beat. How so, you may ask? They do their running in traffic, and while toting a trailer, no less! Carrying a converted luggage roof box, a jogger went out onto a major German highway. Some may think that this was a bit extreme, but hey, he was just using it to make his way back from a trip that he taken as far as Portugal. No harm, no foul, right?

OK, maybe there’s a lot of harm, and plenty of foul.

Remember people, running in traffic is not the proper way to get in shape. If, however, you’d be interested in finding out exactly how to get in shape, well, look no further than this very website.

Get your crucifixes ready

As part of our ongoing coverage of the appearance of monsters across the world, we bring you this frightening bulletin: German police have found a great deal of dead animals in around the city of Bochum lately. Ordinarily, this blog would think this is a good thing.

However, 21 rabbits, three chickens and four foul wild birds have been found decapitated and drained of their blood. This blog is never one to jump to conclusions, but normally, when blood starts getting drained in any Austro-German territory, it means bad things. The Guys recommend staying alert.