The last of our Broken Lizard theme exploration concludes this week with what’s probably known as their most infamous escapade: Super Troopers. Dealing with the comedy troupe, we’ve seen some hits, and we’ve seen some misses. This is OK, as you simply can’t win them all. For those that have seen this movie, there’s no introduction needed. For those that haven’t, well, you might want to take a gander inside, just in case. Hit the jump to understand.
Day: April 25, 2008
First new Late Show failure coming up
It happens every time the annointed King of Late Night announces his retirement: the courtiers battle for the not-yet-vacant throne. This post isn’t about that: we already know that Conan will be the new Leno king … but that is another story.
No, this is about the scurry to fill the other late night slots once the hosts shift around. For every Craig Ferguson, there is an ill-fated Magic Johnson or Chevy Chase. They’re the virgin sacrifice to the Safe Comedy Gods, getting some TV time for a week or less, then slaughtered to ensure a solid ten years of unchallenging celebrity jokes.
The first sacrifice has been announced: Jimmy Fallon will most likely take over Conan’s Late Show. May the Gods be sated with his blood.
You Missed It: Rhymes with ‘punt’ edition
Hey, Illinois, what’s shaking? Sorry, earthquake jokes are only a few shades better than flood/hurricane jokes. If you were in an area affected by a natural disaster this week, odds are you missed it.
Pennsylvania Primaries
Sen. Hillary Clinton gained a bit of momentum as she won the Pennsylvania Democratic primary election, defeating Sen. Barack Obama by more than ten percentage points. The Clinton camp and the news media were overjoyed by the news, while Obama and the rest of the U.S. groaned at the thought of having to go through with this crap for several more months.
Cindy McCain on ‘The View’
Wife of likely Republican presidential nominee Cindy McCain appeared on ABC’s “The View” Monday to dispel rumors that her husband, Sen. John McCain, has anger issues. She said voters should not be worried about an angry man in the White House with his finger on the trigger because he only uses the C-bomb on her when he has to.
‘Blade’ behind bars
Actor Wesley Snipes was convicted of not filing his taxes and sentenced to three years in prison. When reached for comment, Snipes said he regretted hiring Willie Nelson as his accountant.
Detectives acquitted
Three NYPD detectives were acquitted Friday of shooting a man outside of a strip club a few hours before his wedding. Over 50 bullets were fired by police. Finally, law enforcement officers have received a fair trial in the shooting death of an unarmed black man.
Alcoholism–bringing families together and being paid for it
Homer Simpson one gave a toast, claiming “To alcohol–the cause and solution for all of my problems.” Seemingly, the first part of that is normally true, as more often than not, how regularly do you hear of drunk drivers? Is it unusual to see that shirtless dude on COPS holding two or six empty beer bottles while having a dialogue with the local law enforcement? Do you enjoy hitting anything and everything after having a sip of the spirits?
Well guess what, alcohol is now fixing things! Case in point–a London man put out an ad asking for a jovial fellow to be paid to drink with his dad. The recipient of the job (a dream for many, including The Guys) gets paid for their time, plus expenses. Brilliant! The lucky gentleman to acquire the task actually turned out to be two lucky gentlemen … and Mike Hammond, the son in question, couldn’t be happier.
“Dad’s now going to be going down to the pub several times a week–three with his new friends and twice with me. I want to give him some of his old life back.”
Alcohol, fixing a family for every eight that it’s broken.
Bees unleash tornado technology in WoA
Which is scarier: bees or tornados? How about both swirled into one giant vortex of honey-baked terror?
Bees attacked a Mexican restaurant in DeLand, Florida, using a formation described by witnesses as “a tornado pattern.” As the bees expected, everyone panicked, running to their cars and presumably shrieking like wrestling Sheiks.
We thought we were winning the war on the bee front as they began disappearing from honey farms last summer. It turns out they were in hiding, training in new and scary flight formations in secret terrorist training camps around the world. It is also believed they have been selling their own honey to support their insidious global campaign.
If you buy honey, you’re helping the bees win.
Heath Ledger will haunt you–literally
In breaking news, Heath Ledger is still dead.
From what it looks like at this point, he won’t be coming out retirement to make any new movies in the near future. However, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been making a few cameos since parting this mortal coil. Ledger has apparently been haunting former fiancee Venus Michelle Williams.
Williams, who asserts she is not just plain honey roasted nuts, said Ledger has visited her, apparently in a new role as a “shadowy figure.” No word yet as to whether the couple have made pottery together.
Maybe if you had gone to see his movies, you would get a personal visit, too.
(Thanks Rick)