Inmates on the loose!

Posted on April 30, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | |

Attention residents of Florida, be on the lookout for the Lakeland 15.

Authorities say 15 monkeys have escaped from a modern day Alcatraz for primates. The monkeys escaped by swimming across a pond from the island where they were being held. How lax can security be? Do they not know that monkeys can swim? It’s only gorillas that are afraid of water (if the Congo tells us anything about life).

They claim the monkeys are not dangerous, but we know better. These supermonkeys obviously are hellbent on bringing an end to life in Florida, which is the sole job of Floridians. We would tell you to arm yourselves, but we already know you did.

Written by Bryan McBournie