Day: May 2, 2008

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Dolemite’

Note: The Guys are basically taking next week off to enjoy the warm weather focus on work. But fear not! We shall return again the following Monday. Now, stay tuned for a classic MasterChugs Theater.

First off: congratulations on graduating, Adrienne! Now, to the review.

Rudy Ray Moore might not have reinvented cinema, but he is a pioneer when it comes to comedy. Moore peppered his bits with enough four-letter words and sexual innuendo (and not so innuendo) to make Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx blink. He found great success doing comedy party albums, and he also single-handedly shaped what would become hip-hop music, by performing rap before Grand Master Flash and The Sugar Hill Gang even bought a Dr. Seuss book. Moore’s stand-up creation Dolemite, was quickly turned into a film character (and later an icon of “blaxpoitation” films), even though Dolemite more closely resembles the style of Bruce Lee films. Funded by Moore out of his own pocket (and helped by sales of his album Eat Out More Often), Dolemite‘s high-flying karate heroics, little-man-versus-big-man storylines, and bad dubbing work on many different levels, although none very high-brow.

Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Dolemite’

You Missed It: Father knows best edition

In case you had not heard from any of the estimated 800,000 news media reports, the economy seems to be heading toward the crapper, if it’s not already there. So if you were busy joining in on the run on the banks, odds are you missed it.

Vienna incest uncovered
On Sunday, the story broke that Josef Fritzl, 73, had fathered seven children with his daughter, after allegedly keeping her and her children held hostage for more than 20 years. Friztl was arrested and the daughter and her children are seeing therapists. Strange sex practices? Holding young women against their will? Law enforcement splitting up families? And they say Europeans are so different from Americans.

The newest ‘Grant Theft Auto’
Grant Theft Auto IV began shipping this week to people who pre-ordered it. Copies of the game quickly sold out in stores and record first-week sales numbers are expected. The game is receiving rave reviews from critics across the board. Also excited about the game’s early success: politicians running for office and looking for the next great witch hunt.

D.C. Madam now deceased madam
Deborah Jeane Palfrey, better known as the D.C. Madam, hanged herself in a shed next to her mother’s house in Florida. Reports indicate Palfrey had planned suicide before going to prison long in advance. There is no doubt many federal officials are crying their eyes out this week now that the D.C. Madam has gone to that big bordello in the sky.

Record high disapproval ratings
A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll released Thursday shows that 71 percent of Americans disapprove of President George Bush–higher than any other president in modern history. After hearing the poll numbers, Bush made a statement acknowledging the poor showing and reminded the Americans that there was still a chance they could be invited to Jenna Bush’s wedding if they change their minds.

Literary Match of the Century: Ender vs. Harry

Oh, god. Rowling's gonna sue us next.As J.K. Rowling and over-indulged fans of her books take turns crying in court, the rest of the world waits with baited breath to see who will win: the children’s author who lived or “scholarly” authors looking to validate their term papers on kids’ books.

The argument could rage on forever. Both sides are convinced that they have been wronged, that their very livelihoods are at stake and that literature could be hobbled for the foreseeable future. Who can stop this war that threatens the English-reading world and life as we know it?

Ender freakin’ Wiggin could.

Well, really his creator, celebrated science fiction author, Orson Scott Card. In a scathing editorial for The Rhinoceros Times, Card points to the similarities between Rowling’s “creative” seven-time repeat of the same book and the story he only had to write once (twice if you count Ender’s Shadow, but that was admittedly the same story told through another perspective and still consisted of more scene changes than Potter’s entire series).

“A young kid growing up in an oppressive family situation suddenly learns that he is one of a special class of children with special abilities, who are to be educated in a remote training facility where student life is dominated by an intense game played by teams flying in midair, at which this kid turns out to be exceptionally talented and a natural leader. He trains other kids in unauthorized extra sessions, which enrages his enemies, who attack him with the intention of killing him; but he is protected by his loyal, brilliant friends and gains strength from the love of some of his family members. He is given special guidance by an older man of legendary accomplishments who previously kept the enemy at bay. He goes on to become the crucial figure in a struggle against an unseen enemy who threatens the whole world.”

The Boy Who Lived is in serious trouble this time, gang: he’s up against the Boy Who Commited Xenocide.

WHAT DO WE WANT?

OUR OWN NAME!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

RIGHT AFTER LILITH FAIR!

“Campaigners on the Greek island of Lesbos are to go to court in an attempt to stop a gay rights organisation from using the term “lesbian” … publisher Dimitris Lambrou says it causes daily problems to the social life of Lesbos’s inhabitants.”

I can sort of see that being a problem. I mean, if I went to some fabled island in a drunken haze, only to have all of my hopes and dreams come crashing down, I might cause some daily problems to the social life of the island’s inhabitants too.

Coc–err, rock the vote

Attention politicians: Are you trying to figure out a way to get re-elected? Or are you looking for some way, any way, to boost your approval ratings before you leave office? You probably want to take the advice of the mayor of a Chilean town.

You may want to consider giving out free Viagra to the voters–this blog would suggest limiting it to the male population. Yes, Gonzalo Navarette, mayor of Lo Prado, is giving the penis pills to citizens of his town, provided a doctor can confirm that each man suffers from erectile dysfunction. Why is he doing this? Because an active sex life helps keep one healthy.

Insert a “poll” joke here.