Day: May 12, 2008

People get older over time (including children)

With the May releases of blockbusters trickling out, it’s obvious that it is now summer. (Hear that sound? It’s children on your lawn! Remember: shoot first, then drag them onto your porch.)

With summer here, it’s also time for the press to go on vacation while entertaining their interns with puppet shows, magic tricks and lists. The most popular list, of course, is the “Child Stars: Then and Now” rehash that gets updated every year.

Today’s lazy adventure in Internet slide shows comes to you courtesy of Florida’s Sun-Sentinel.com.

Bonus Fun Fact:
Apparently Prince William was a child star.

War pauses for no one

Though SG was off last week, the War of Animals did not take a single day off, we believe this is mostly because there was no cease fire agreed to by officials on either side. So, in an effort to keep from shirking out duties, here’s what happened while we were away:

Hundreds of ducks turned up dead in Alberta, Canada. The traitorous Canadian government is actually angry about this, and is investigating an oil company in connection with this masterstroke blow to the nation’s waterfowl population.

The birds apparently landed on a pond that had toxic waste in it. Only five of the ducks were saved. This is good news, but this blog cannot rule out that these ducks now have super powers. Continue reading War pauses for no one

Have skull, will smoke up

There are people that are really excited about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and then there are people that are really excited about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Unfortunately, because this is America, there are also people that want to turn a skull into a bong. Morons. I mean, everyone knows that the femur and tibula make much better devices for said bong creation. Not only that, but this is a fairly blatant sign of zombies attempting to pass themselves off as humans. Smoking out of a skull? More like eating human brains. We’re onto you undead monsters!

Chavez officially booted from message boards

Just like Hitler, German Chancellor Merkel also enjoys writing in her spare time, parades, and getting kissies from western leaders.Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, is renowned for his trolling. He frequently calls U.S. President Bush “the devil” and also spams Internet message boards with excerpts from Marx and “RON PAUL IN 2008!”

Yesterday, however, he crossed a line: in his counterargument against German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who urged Latin America to give Chavez a geopolitical “time-out,” Chavez compared her to Hitler.

  • They’re both German.
  • Hitler was once a Chancellor.
  • They were both political leaders in Germany.
  • Merkel loves dogs, too.
  • Merkel enjoys Raiders of the Lost Ark, but always “falls asleep” before the end where the Nazis’ faces melt.  (Spoiler alert!)

In response to these latest claims, his memberships to Total Fark, DeviantArt and Salon have been suspended for First Degree Godwinning. To get his screennames reinstated, Chavez will have to renew his IP address and create new Gmail accounts–a very stiff penalty indeed.

The McBournie Minute: Spend summer inside

The summer time brings warmer weather, which makes people wear less, creating more to look at. However, summer also means the summer movie season, which brings even cooler stuff to look at. I have always been something of a summer movie fan.

One summer I had a series of coupons that gave me more money back than the price of admission. I frequented the cinema that summer and turned a profit, too. I will likely never reach that goal again, but I can list off the movies I want to see this summer and why they look so great.

Iron Man
Honestly, when I first heard about this movie, I was not excited in the least. Then I saw the teaser trailer. Robert Downey Jr. looks to have found himself the perfect role: playing a rich jerk with some boozing problems. While this movie is out in theaters, I have not yet seen it. Stop telling me it’s really good or I’ll end up not liking it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Spend summer inside