Eat My Sports: MVP talk

Posted on May 13, 2008
Filed Under Eat My Sports | |

So, during our hiatus Kobe “Denver” Bryant received his first Most Valuable Player award. There’s a joke about him being “a family man” and a correlation between what happened in Denver, and the Player part of the award name, but we’re bigger than that. Now correct me if I am wrong, but I’m pretty sure the “V” in MVP stands for valuable, well, Mr. Bryant, if that still is the case, then you, you sir, do not deserve this award.

Let’s all take a quick flashback to the beginning of the season to when Mr. This Is A Team Award was complaining about the Lakers not building a contender around him. Basically calling his teammates scrubs, and throwing a multi-million dollar hissy fit to get out of Los Angeles. But throw in a trade for Pau Gasol, and all of a sudden Bryant is now the best player in the league. I’m calling shenanigans.

You want the true MVP? Alright, well look no further than the teal (ugh, really?) and yellow of the New Orleans Hornets and to the Celtic pride of Boston. I want co-MVPs.

Kevin Garnett instilled a winning attitude back into Boston before he even set foot in the city. From the moment his name transferred over to a roster that rivaled the Knicks as to worst in the league, the Celtics expected to be champions. Throw in the league’s best record, a team that committed itself to defense, well then I would say that has more “value” than coming across your buddy’s e-mail and password for … er … sites?

Chris Paul. Yes, probably the most boring superstar name since Dick Butkis (God, I would KILL to know why his parents did that to him), but CP3 ressurrected a city’s hope for a title that needs one badly. He’s a combination of years 1-4 of Penny Hardaway, John “I’m the white guy that passed to Karl Malone” Stockton, Steve Nash and Magic “Don’t call it AIDS yet” Johnson. Honestly, the best pure talent that I’ve seen in ages. Not to mention he makes everyone around him a potential All-Star. Remove Paul, and you have a lottery team that couldn’t make the bench players of an East squad sweat.

But as for you, Mr. Bryant, take your lifetime achievement award and hold on to it. Because when you still don’t win one without Shaq, that warm, fuzzy feeling in L.A. is going to fade quickly as a, oh hell, I’ll go with it, West L.A. Fade Away.
(Um, kids, that was a Doors’ reference)

Top five things that annoy me in sports:
5. Kevin Garnett
4. Paul PIerce
3. Ray Allen
2. Doc Rivers
1. Boston Celtics
All of the above. You are not the chosen ones until you start winning on the road in the playoffs.

Written by Bryan Schools