First Mexico, now England rattles anti-emo sabre

Posted on May 15, 2008
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England is waking up to realize a menace is upon them. “A sinister cult,” as The Daily Mail puts it, obsessed with self-harm and suicide. A threat that America has just about wedgied out of existence and that Mexico put to the lash.

We are speaking, of course, about emos.

Now, this article doesn’t guarantee action, but it is the first step towards British involvement:

Point at someone and say, “Wot is this all about?”
Remind that person that they are British: “Stand up now, Guvnah. You’re British.”
If they are not, in fact, British, condemn them: “Now that’s downright bawmy. Away with you, you little bugger.”
When words fail, fetch a “Constable” or perhaps “engage in some fisticuffs.”

The empire is just about poised to strike back … at sad little teenagers.

Written by Rick Snee