MasterChugs Theater: ‘Zombie Strippers’
Posted on May 16, 2008
Filed Under MasterChugs Theater, Sex Sells, Stripper News, Zombies | Leave a Comment |
Before you start saying anything, I know exactly what you’re thinking–I’m actually reviewing a movie called Zombie Strippers? Well, come on, with a name that evocative, who wouldn’t want to see Zombie Strippers? Wait–don’t answer that just yet. Not since Snakes on a Plane has a (mainstream) film had a title so straightforward that you know exactly what you’re going to get before you even step into the theater. Where Strippers departs from Snakes, though, is that it’s actually Grade A B-movie schlock, whereas Snakes was just pretending to be. In this respect, it actually has more in common with the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino double-bill Grindhouse–with probably about one-tenth the budget.
With that said, this review is indeed safe for work. I promise. The movie? Totally not safe for work. Read more
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorYou Missed It: CANNES!!! edition
Posted on May 16, 2008
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Sen. Hillary Clinton handily defeated Sen. Barack Obama in the West Virginia primary earlier this week. Pushing the primaries on, and on, and on, and on. So if you were like John Edwards and endorsing Obama, odds are you missed it.
Black, stork to the stars
Jack Black made unintended headlines this week at the Cannes Film Festival this week when he spilled the beans that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as “Angelad,” are expecting twins. There is no word yet as to which baby will be the perfect of the two and a mortal god-off is scheduled with the unborn fruit of Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan. Meanwhile, no one is paying attention to Kung Fu Panda.
Earthquakes rock China
A Richter 7.9 earthquake hit central China earlier this week, and strong aftershocks have been hitting the region off and on since then. The quakes have caused thousands of deaths and left thousands more homeless. A dam was critically damaged by the tremblor but has been fixed by the military. Who else is looking forward to the Beijing Olympics this summer?
President heads to the Middle East
Fresh off his daughter’s weekend wedding, President George Bush headed to Israel this week to celebrate the country’s 60th anniversary and the peace that has fallen over the region since then. Bush then stopped off in Saudi Arabia to talk oil production with the Saudi royals. When Bush told King Abdullah he had just come from Israel, the monarch replied, “I’m sorry, where? I don’t recognize the name.”
Same sex marriage in California
On Thursday, the California Supreme Court struck down a state ban on same sex marriage, saying it was unconstitutional to keep people from marrying based on gender, just as it is with race. Same sex marriage supporters gathered outside the courthouse to hear the news and called the ruling “fabulous.”
Fwooooooooooosh!
Posted on May 16, 2008
Filed Under It Must Be Science! | Leave a Comment |
Hey there, everyone! Quick question time: what’s the newest breakthrough in awesome?
Mother loving jet-packs, that’s what.
Now, what’s really interesting is that the pilot comments on how controlling the thing means essentially going completely limp. That’s so really easy to do when you’re flying in the air. If you could get a helmet with a surface bleed system, so that it leaked just a tiny bit of the air across your face, you would know what heaven felt like. The only downside to the system: you need to be lifted to start the process. Oh, and Cobra Commander would totally use the technology for world domination and other wacky terrorist hi-jinx.
I think Ace McCloud would approve.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorWhat’s that saying about ‘any publicity?’
Posted on May 16, 2008
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As part of this summer’s blockbuster movie fest, Sex and the City promises to be a rollicking good time for the entire family. In fact, The Guys often pretend we’re the Fab Four when drinking. We put on some strappy sandals, order nothing but cosmos and talk about all the sex we’ve had in the past week.
(McBournie insists that we call him Samantha. Schools, with his profound addiction to horserace betting, is our group’s Carrie.)
However, not everyone shares our excitement. New York’s Time Out magazine is protesting the movie because it premiered in London instead of NYC. They slapped the Sex girls hard — the way this blog understands they like it — by featuring them on the cover, but with the title of “No sex! Enough already — we love ‘em, but it’s just too much.”
Just to recap: they’re protesting the movie with a Sex and the City-free issue by featuring the film’s stars on their cover. It’s obvious they haven’t read “Take it from Snee: Protest effectively or kindly go home.”
Written by Rick SneeTake this, all of you, and fill thy tank with it
Posted on May 16, 2008
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Forget faith, sometimes a church can better filling empty seats promising to fill one’s tank rather than fill one’s soul.
A Georgia church is using a raffle for free fuel to bring in new members. For every service in a week (from Sunday to Wednesday) a person gets a raffle ticket for $500 worth of gas, which is roughly 20 gallons at current market prices. Being a southern church you might think it’s a Baptist church pulling a stunt like this, well let us tell you that you are just plain wro–oh wait, it is a Baptist church.
And the pastor’s name is Rusty. Yes, Reverend Rusty. We’re done snickering and we’re moving on.
Written by Bryan McBournie