MasterChugs Theater: ‘Day of the Dead(2008)’
Posted on May 23, 2008
Filed Under MasterChugs Theater, Zombies | Leave a Comment |
With the success of the Dawn of the Dead remake it was only a matter of time before the other Romero zombie flicks were remade. Early out of the gate is Steve Miner’s adaptation of the military zombie allegory Day of the Dead, a movie that can at best be described as comical. Alas, if only we could say that this movie was at its best. Hit the jump if you’re a masochist. Read more
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorYou Missed It: Home movies edition
Posted on May 23, 2008
Filed Under You Missed It | Leave a Comment |
It’s getaway day right before Memorial Day weekend. Is anyone reading this? We cannot hear you, so we will just assume that you are indeed paying attention and move along with the feature. If you were out battling Soviet agents in an archaeological quest, odds are you missed it.
No-hitter in Beantown
On Monday, Boston Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester threw a no-hitter against the Kansas City Royals in front of a home crowd. It was catcher Jason Varitek’s fourth no-hitter, a new MLB record. Lester, 24, has now beaten cancer, won a World Series and pitched a no-hitter. Major League Baseball announced they will investigate him for use of illegal substances.
Kennedy diagnosed with a brain tumor
On Tuesday, Sen. Ted Kennedy was diagnosed with a brain tumor after having a seizure over the weekend. It was announced he will begin chemotherapy and other treatments very soon. Kennedy left the hospital in Massachusetts he had been staying at after doctors let him go. While much remains uncertain about Kennedy’s future, but doctors said the tumor should not affect his driving abilities.
R. Kelly in court, not closet
Jurors were ordered Tuesday to watch a 25-minute long tape allegedly showing R. Kelly involved in several sexual acts with a 13-year-old girl. After the tape was shown, the judge called for a 10-minute recess and everyone rushed to the bathrooms.
‘American Idol’ ends season
After a season of consistently low ratings, American Idol snagged 31.7 million viewers for its finale–a million more than this time last year. This season, David Cook took the honors with his singing talents that were better than the other guy’s. No, we didn’t watch it, either.
Schadenfreude: Sometimes it does taste like justice
Posted on May 23, 2008
Filed Under Schadenfreude (TM) | Leave a Comment |
Alright, it’s Friday. You think you don’t need a strong pick-me-up to start your favorite weekday. But is it 5 o’clock yet?
Yeah, didn’t think so. You still have to finish up the week’s drudgery while the kids off from school are already “warming up” the pool. (Don’t open your eyes underwater.) And you still need to fudge your time card before you sit in traffic with all of the other TGI-mother-Fers.
What you need is a steamy cup of all-natural Schadenfreude.
Jack Thompson, who you should be familiar with if you’ve ever read this blog or listened to a parent about video games, is in danger of being “found guilty on 27 of 31 counts of misconduct” by the Florida Supreme Court.
That’s right: Mr. Listen-to-me-because-I’m-a-lawyer may be demoted to crazy-angry-guy-on-talk-shows. He won’t be able to legally exploit the families of slain police officers because he can’t figure out the squares and circles on a Playstation controller.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.
Written by Rick SneeTry hooting next time for better service
Posted on May 23, 2008
Filed Under Stripper News, That Wacky New Zealand | Leave a Comment |
In recent weeks, SeriouslyGuys has taken on the concept of catcalling and how it affects the world. Apparently, so did New Zealand.
As a tourist was visiting an ATM while in the country, some local road workers began “wolf-whistling”, which is apparently the Zeke equivalent to catcalling. Angered and fed up with all the pressure of her life, not able to take any more crap that’s been thrown her way but prepared to fully take cold and ruthless justice into her own hands, the morose yet infuriated woman did the only thing that she could … and stripped. She then used the ATM, put her clothes back on and visited the local law enforcement.
She was, of course, spoken to about how that “was inappropriate in New Zealand.”
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorLife in a fish bowl
Posted on May 23, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Folks, if there is one clear threat to humanity, it’s goldfish. We are not talking about the delicious cracker-like snack that poses the ever-present danger of choking to death. No, we are talking about the actual fish. Shockingly enough, these things are still legally sold in pet stores for just a ten cents.
To make matters worse, it is getting to the point where we cannot even use them for artistic expression anymore. According to DCist, around 100 goldfish were used in an art exhibit in Washington, DC. The city later shut down the exhibit, probably because the fish are a recognized threat to the many important people who live and work in the greater Washington area.
However, some species traitor realized that when the place was closed down, those “poor, defenseless” goldfish were still trapped inside with no one to feed them their tricolored flakes. The human-hater called the Humane Society (think the animal version of the mafia), which swooped in to save 20 of the monsters. We salute any artist expression that kills animals and challenge all those who stand in the way or winning the war. Humane Society–watch your back.
Written by Bryan McBournie