CNN didn’t pull any punches with today’s Headline of the Day: “A puking bride, crazy squirrel and a fire.”
No, it’s not a bunch of highlights from a Passover holiday special — it’s about weddings, which is a hot topic this time of year. Chances are, if you’ve recently graduated college, you have about 20 of these to go to all year.
If you’re lucky, maybe you, too, will have an interesting story to tell. Unless it’s open-bar; then there are no stories to remember.
You’ve tried every beer. You are tired of hearing the same old thing from beer merchants trying to sell you something that will taste better and get you more buzzed than ever. You just might be chasing the beer dragon. Fear not, bored boozer! Japan has come up with something that raises the bar several miles up: space beer.
Sapporo Breweries Ltd. has grown barley from grains that were taken into space and is using them for its new experimental beer. This is much like having a conversation with an astronaut’s son, it puts you less than three degrees away from space.
In other hammered happenings, the Anglo-commies have banned booze on London’s subway system, the Tube. Before the ban took effect on Sunday, English people held a system-wide party Saturday night drinking whatever they felt like bringing with them.
This is the latest assault on transportation-related multitasking. A similar ban is already in effect on drinking in car. However, it is still legal to drink while floating around on an umbrella.
So, hypothetical situation time: you’ve got a book coming out. The world’s in the pisser. You want people to read, but it’s not easy, what with the rampaging tsunamis, hurricanes and bears. The country where you’re from has a vast scale of living. What can you do?
The easy answer? Toss 100 million rupiah (United States equivalent-$10,740) down to the ground from an airplane. I mean, how else are those people going to buy that book of yours if they have no money? Pay no heed to the possible probable mass rioting that will begin-it’s all in your head. Plus, everyone that’s still alive will totally buy that book of yours. Guaranteed.
Recently, my favorite local rock station decided it would ask its listeners to vote for the top 500 songs it has ever played. Last week, that station DC101, played the countdown from 500 up to one. After listening to it, I have concluded one thing: for most people, music was at its apex when they were between the ages of 14 and 18.
Out of 500 songs, can you guess which one took the top spot? If you are thinking anything other than “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana, you may seriously want to consider inflicting pain on yourself. This is not to say that I believe it is the greatest song of all time, merely that everyone else in the world thinks that.
Nirvana is ridiculously overrated. There, I said it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Nirvana wasn’t that great
