Day: June 3, 2008

Eat My Sports: Eat my four favorite teams of all-time

Does writing a blog mean your opinion matters? No, but we’d like to think so. Does writing a sports column a in said blog make you an authority on sports? I’d like to think so. Will anyone care what my top team (including year) for each of the four major sports is? Damn right.

The playoffs are always the right time to have me remember my favorite teams of the past. Given that the Sox and the Steelers are the only ones that give me potential hope, I go back to the days when my teams made me fall in love with them. It’s like a sweet 16 romance, except without the movie dates and seeing which one of your buddies has the guts to buy contraceptives knowing full well he’s not going to use them until their shelf life expires. Now on to the dance … Continue reading Eat My Sports: Eat my four favorite teams of all-time

SG News Flash!!!!1OMFG!!!

The Guys have just received these news bulletins from CNN and the AP about this election’s Democratic Primary.

You’re probably thinking, “These are news flashes?” Don’t be so dismissive. Unlike all those other “Obama won, Clinton stays in race” stories, these were dated June 3, 2008. Any other story with the same exact subject matter, content and headline — but an earlier date  — is not a hot scoop.

Carry on, if you can.

UPDATE (6/3/2008):
CNN has updated their “Clinton refuses to concede” story of the day with news that she will accept a VP nomination. However, she also wanted to make it very clear that she will still not concede, which makes up over 3/4 of the story.

But kudos to CNN for at least changing the headline.

The UK continues fight against Decepticon menace; gets messed up

NERRRRRRRDDDDSSSS!Great Britain is a country that’s not exactly a stranger to controversy. They’ve always had a bit of bad luck in the past, what with the football hooligans, chavs and the whole bad teeth thing. And vinegar on potato chips? Whoa! Anyone that gave the world that should be held on trial. As such, it should be no surprise that they’re trying clean up their image. First they give way to Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg. Then they begin to deep-fry anything and everything. The latest step? Stopping the Decepticon menace and any and all forms of their vile propaganda!

Except … they kind of messed up along the way, mainly for two reasons. The nerd reason is that the individual on the shirt was Optimus Prime. He’s an Autobot, which are the good robots. The other reason, and is probably the more legitimate of the two was voiced by the individual who had been stopped at the airport, Brad Jayakody:

“It’s a cartoon robot with a gun as an arm. What was I going to do, use the shirt to pretend I have a gun?”

Seriously people.

‘Water lines’ are only the beginning

A dermatologist in Washington, DC has uncovered the latest threat to women everywhere: water lips. Specifically, Dr. Merliyn Berzin is referring to the lines that appear around your lips after sucking on sporty water bottles, cigarettes or … um, you know … for 30 or more years.

Dr. Berzin noticed more cases showing up now that women in the DC area drink water all day, believing it to be a miracle elixir that sheds excess pounds and hydrates hair, skin and nails. (Yeah, right. Next they’re gonna say we can’t live without water!)

What’s surprising about this story is that the women in the article are only complaining about the lines on their lips. There is another corresponding condition from drinking water all day: toilet-ring butt.

Yes, toilet-ring butt. A condition normally associated with people who eat too much pork is now common with women who drink water all day, every day. Women as young as 30 are showing up to doctors’ offices with bottoms that are normally found on 50-year-old Bears fans who often sit on the can for hours at a time.

There’s one answer to both of these health scourges: put down that water bottle! We hate to repeat ourselves, but you’ve left us no choice.