Planes. They are first when listen with trains and automobiles. While in theory the fastest form of transportation, a trip from Point A to Point B might take longer than in a plane than it would to, say, walk the distance instead. There will always be numerous reasons for why this happens, but all the knowledge of the airline industry in the world will not stop the problems from happening. No, one can only hope to surive. That’s why The Guys present how to survive a flight. Continue reading How To: Survive a flight
Day: June 5, 2008
Redtape their blowholes shut!
The U.S. government does not typically have much in common with Lifetime War on Animals Achievement winner Japan. This blog believes we told them to “go tentacle rape themselves” when they presented their Kyoto Clean Air Agreement.
However, we have adopted one of their better habits: allowing whales to die.
Because of “confusion” between several government agencies, our government is unable to prevent the “accidental” killings of right whales*, which now number in the 300s. Whoopsies!
*Fun Fact:
The right whale got it’s name from whalers(!) because “their mellow personalities, shallow feeding habits and lumbering, 70-ton bodies made them the easiest, or the right, whales to kill.” Now that’s how you name a species!
We completely understand, feds. Keeping “boaters” and “fishers” from “accidentally” killing whales is very difficult to manage. It’s a tragedy, but what can we do about it?
South and South: The nonalcoholic drums of war
In our continuing coverage of the border dispute between Tennesse and Georgia, emotions are running high. Not only does Georgia want Tennessee’s water, but they also want to turn at least one Tennessee town dry.
Citizens of Copperhill, Tenn. share half of their city with McCaysville, Ga. The Tennesse half serves alcohol; the Georgia side hates America. If Georgia lawmakers get their way and move the Georgia border north one mile, Copperhill will become part of McCaysville’s dry county.
This latest development means the war is no longer about resources, but a way of life. It will surely come to violence now:
“Even 14-year-old Michelle Martinez, walking home from school in Copperhill, grimaced at the suggestion of suddenly living in another state.
“‘If I wanted to live in Georgia I’d [invade] down there,’ she said[, shaking her grandpappy’s rifle in the direction of those teetotalling so’s-and-so’s].”
Remember: Stay dead when playing dead
If you’re an avid reader, you probably have a mental illness know how to fake your own death. Apparently, so does a Singapore man, who was previously thought to have died in 1987.
The trick is, once you fake your death, you have to stay dead.
The Singapore man faked his death in a shoot out with the country’s civil war. He allegedly did it so he could get away from his debt and collect insurance money. He even left the country for years.
However, he kept coming back, he even remarried his wife, and had another kid. Wonder how they caught him?